What did Trump and Putin chat about on latest phone call?

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/07/23/what-did-donald-trump-and-vlad.html

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Maybe they’re just haggling over price.

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"Can’t I just come and stay with you? They are mean, they call me names and made fun of my hair, and they stick big long swabs up my nose over and over all day. They don’t send prostitutes to my room like you do, and they make me wear a mask sometimes. "

“Now Donchik, you called them names first, didn’t you?”

“Aw, shucks, nobody understands…”

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I never would have thought that in my lifetime I wouldn’t trust the President of the United States to talk to the leader of Russia.

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I mean, the finishes on his soviet bloc apartment where he’ll be hiding out in 2021, one hopes…

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always negate what the white house says. that seems to be the rule.

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Annual job performance review?

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Trump proudly started with “Person - Woman - Man - Camera - TV”

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“I will not share an apartment with Snowden.”
Individual 1

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From the home office in St Petersburg, here’s the Top Ten things Trump and Putin chatted about on their latest call!
10. (Redacted)
9. (Redacted)
8. (Redacted)
7. (Redacted)
6. (Redacted)
5. (Redacted)
4. (Redacted)
3. (Redacted)
2. (Redacted)

  1. Kanye!
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Oh that’d be funny, if he was using Ed Snowden’s access point.

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Doubtful, probably just Putin reminding him exactly how he looks in the videos, and Donnie begging him not to release them at least until after the election.

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Putin read some words and trump tried to repeat them.

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Honestly, Turnip probably spent the call complaining about the news/election and possibly reiterating the same stupid ramp/test talking points he usually obsesses over. Putin probably gave him some “advice” on what to do to solve above problems (50/50 on whether they would actually help or harm his relection prospects) and Donnie would uncritically accept them, telling someone in his office to work them into his future speeches and campaign plans (claiming they were his ideas, naturally).

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Refinancing at today’s low low rates…

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Like these “threadbare” sources regarding Russian bounties?

“Fake news?”

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Because of the pandemic, they have to settle for phone sex these days.

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On Trump’s side of things, probably the half billion in loans that are coming due, and asking what Putin is going to do about it. General bitching about how mean and unfair everyone is. I’m fairly confident that he’s like a broken record in that he’s always talking about these things with Putin.

On Putin’s side:

  • probably casual, seemingly innocent remarks about how Europe has never treated the US fairly, the WHO is against the US, the United Nations are against the US… literally anything that would create a wedge between the US and the rest of the world.
  • a lot of praise for how Trump is doing an amazing job, really the best, no one can believe what a good job he’s doing.
  • advice on how to crack down on citizens, and use his executive powers as a bludgeon, because the people need to be kept under control, and ditto everyone else in government.

So… business as usual, would be my guess.

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Putin: I was just having a casual chat with the bankers in Cyprus. They’re so impressed with how great you are that they’ve given you another 60-day extension on your loan re-payments.

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