What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/03/30/what-do-you-call-someone-who-d.html


#2

A matzochist.

This is a terrible dad joke.

And I’m a terrible dad, forwarding this to everyone I know.


#3

(right to left)


#4

Should that read “Batard” ?


#5

Who would have guessed that parting the Red Sea wouldn’t be the most divisive thing Charlton Heston did over the course of his career?


#7

And then the transgender child stepped forward and asked “What is up with all this gender essentialist bullshit?!”

And then the radical activist child stepped forwards and asked “Why on this night do we sit on comfortable cushions, when WE SHOULD BE OUT SMASHING PATRIARCHY, RACISM AND THE STATE!?”


#8

Why wouldn’t Moses let anyone use his staff? He couldn’t part with it.


#9

What a rye sense of humor :bread:


#10

I can think of a dotard it applies to…


#11

Happy Passover! These are fun jokes and all, but from the headline and the photo I thought the post was going to be about growing up in a family that watched the 10 Commandments every year and had fun together roasting its seriousness amid all the Hollywood touches:

Edward G. Robinson in a skirt! Anne Baxter wearing Max Factor and talking with that ten-pack-a-day voice! Yul Brunner! Oily stonecutter John Derek! God’s changing voice! Mrs. Munster as Mrs. Moses! “So shall it be written, so shall it be done.” “Take care, old frog. You croaked too much against Moses!”

DeMille actually did good research for this movie, which shows in how the obelisks are shown being set on their bases, and even in the dancing girls with the long ponytails, which are taken from a piece of ancient Egyptian art. The hounds and jackals game Seti plays with Nefretiri I think is also based on a real ancient Egyptian example.

Okay, back to the jokes!


#12

Just in time for Easter they’ve introduced a new low-carb communion wafer.

It’s called I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus.


#13

Another problem with the bread of affliction is that it is high in acrylamide so is a known carcinogen in California.


#14

Mmmmm…Yul Brynner…as tan and swole as a loaf of challah…


#15

Is this achieved through trans-fatsubstantiation?


#16

I’ve done the Passover Seder thing. Recline to the left, eat bitter herbs, etc. But gefilte fish is still spam of the sea! :grinning:


#17

no one knew the red sea was muddy on it’s bottom :wink:


#18

My sister used to belong to a particularly high Anglican congregation (ie, “bells and smells”) which she used to refer to as I can’t believe it’s not Catholic.


#19

no No NO, they first introduced the ‘testa-mint’ - little amuse-bouches with a bible verse on the wrapper. That didn’t sell well, so they rolled out the next big thing in confession confectionary - the chocolate jesus:

Happy Mutants, indeed :wink:


#20

An afflicionado.


#21

UK joke here. Manny leads a very charitable life, and becomes famous through his works of charity. Eventually the powers that be recognise him, and he is offered a knighthood. Of course he has to go to Buckingham Palace to be knighted, and Manny has always been a quiet, retiring man, and he is so nervous! As he is waiting to meet the Queen he mutters prayers to himself. At last, when he has to kneel to be knighted, he blurts out “Mah nishtanah, ha-laylah ha-zeh, mi-kol ha-leylot!”. With her sword in hand, the Queen turns to Prince Philip and asks “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”