What happens to a pocket hose when it goes bad




Why do people make ALL their photos look like they’re from the 1970s on purpose?


Because it’s the 1970s.


Wait, there’s a real thing called a “pocket hose”? I’ll have to file that one under “Euphemisms - Lost Opportunities”


So, is this like a thinner-plastic-than-normal-hose inside a fabric sleeve? And here, the sleeve broke open? Awfully hard to tell just what I’m seeing.




Is this at your mud brick house in Transylvania?


Actually, we’re on assignment in Novosibirsk.


I have no idea what the image in the post is, relative to the linked product, but it is a bad sign when 4 out of the 5 product photos on Amazon are of your product failing.


“The Pocket Hose - no pocket gardener should be without one. Also useful for filling your pocket pool!”


Another great picture of it:


I have to be honest… I find the short-haired woman in the commercial, you know the one, she’s all fascinated-n-shit with the muti-option sprayer, EXTREMELY attractive.

The product is quite weak but serves the purpose for which I bought it… take up small space, water the plants in my 92-year old grandmother’s patio every sunday when i visit for lunch.


Crap smartphone apps designed to enworsen your images aren’t a healthy coping mechanism; but people need some way to express their amorphous-but-gnawing sense that we’ve slid back into a dystopia of authoritiarian neoliberalism, economic stagnation, flagrant abuse of power, unwinnable meatgrinder wars, and miscellaneous terrorism.

Emulating the aesthetics of 1970s consumer electronics on the same device you use to emulate human connection as an atomized datapoint in somebody’s marketing database is the perfect way to do that!


I will never forgive you for this.


Guys, it says right there in the post what it is: a nightmare creature from the Abyss.


I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.


Wow. I’m the opposite. I’m thanking him for it and will start using it in my sentences right away.
“Could you send me the photo?”
“Hold on a second I need to enworsen it” [Applies 1977 Instagram filter and sends it]


Good Man. Forgiveness is basically just a category error with a hallmark card and good PR. Yours is a rare sense of moral clarity in these dark times.


Just be very, very, very glad that the details of its reproductive biology are unknown to man, and possibly unknowable.


Is that a hose in your pocket, or, ph’nglui mglw’nafh cthulhu r’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn?