Designer garden hoses, and other 'luxurious alternative garden appliances'


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/04/23/designer-garden-hoses-and-oth.html


#2


#3

Nice chart, but they left out the back bacon.


#4

These garden hoses don’t bother me any more than some of the super-expensive steampunk toys and other gadgets (the $800 fidget spinner comes to mind) that I have seen touted here, yet those latter items seem to be praised rather than snarked at. I’m trying to figure out why.


#5

After wrestling with mediocre stuff, we spent a ridiculous amount on quality garden hoses and quality valves. Not “designer” but just really well made stuff. Worth every penny, and the best VFM decision we could have made, in hindsight. They are a pleasure to use. That’s not relevant to this post really; just wanted to get it out there.


#6

But but but… No! Those are… those are wonderful things! And makers make them! It says so right here!

(Also, wouldn’t the golden hose be perfect at Mar-a-Lago?)


#7

The deer antler hose racks are awesome. My pedestrian Home Depot garden variety hose would look great in one of those.

The dragon claw rack would scare the neighbors.


#8

Well, you got a point there.

If we could get some artisan to hand-craft garden hoses in her basement, made from free-range rubber harvested by unionized workers in a sustainable forest and sold for $800 per fifty feet, those hoses would be worshiped here as if they were gods.


#9

Oh man, I live a few blocks from a hardware store that sells hose by the foot and cans of spray paint, I’m gonna get on this “sell stupid bullshit to rich people” train, not to make money, but to mock them.


#10

Gotta add some cosmetic gears.


#11



#12

Oh, there’s plenty of snark for the BB shop! :slight_smile: It’s tempting to let it slide (and most of us usually do, since the site needs income to stay alive) but sometimes The Last VPN You’ll Ever Need just needs a guid kickin’ in the heid.

Vesta horns! Want.

Of course, at my house I’d probably wake up to find some bloody buck repeatedly charging the stone wall with the horns mounted on it. The whitetail deer combines remarkable cunning with impressive stupidity at times.

Same here! Cheap hoses aren’t worth the investment, they wear out too quickly and kink too easily and coil poorly.


#13

Demonstration of a Giffen good: as the price rises, demand rises.
If these products cost less, their target market would not buy them.


#14

Just throwin’ this out here…taxidermy hides get stretched over fiberglass mounts - so you can order anything animal-shaped you want, and mount your garden hose on a moose rack, for example.
fiberglass animal blanks


#15

They’ve got a tiny triceratops head, too!


#16

I’m currently digging my crawlspace into a Batcave. Before I pour a floor, I’m going to put one of those cheap plastic Halloween skeletons and some cartridge brass in a shallow grave, just to mess with the developer who will inevitably scrape this house.

Now, imagine the frenzy if I buried a fake dinosaur…


#17

OK, I was only regulation nauseated by this web site, but then I clicked on the About Us link and I’ve gone full-on gag.

https://www.gardenglory.com/about-us/


#18

Money spent on gold-spraypainted crap is money not available for PAC’s.


#19

Sadly, I fear that for those deep pockets buying a Diamond Trowel and attendant irrigation bling would be a rounding error…:roll_eyes:


#20

Those with deep pockets will just hire a live-in gardener.