What it would cost to build Trump's snake-and-alligator border moat

Through the woods, too?

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This budget estimate, of course, does not include the cost of building the actual moat into which the guard force would be deployed. Here we can draw upon the past precedent of diverting $3.6 billion from the U.S. military construction budgets towards border wall repairs. While there has not been a single terrorist attack over the last 15 years linked to illegal immigrants, we can make the case that the alligator and snake moat is a far better national security investment than new military housing for our troops, repairs of base schools for their families, or training ranges and command and control facilities to allow them to win any future wars.

Are they even factoring in sabotage? What happens if someone poisons the moat?

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Maybe Trump’s playing 5-dimensional chess and what he really wants is a poison moat! So stable; so genius. /s

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Hmmm…

image

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The upside is we’ll finally get that transcontinental canal we’ve been clamoring for.

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Snake tastes good. There are a lot of bones (A LOT of bones), but if it’s properly cooked the meat falls off cleanly and easily.

Edit: There are a shed load of different snakes, and I imagine that - like fish - some taste good, and some not so good. The one I had was good.

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Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to build moats around Drumpf Tower, Mar-e-Lego and the West Wing to keep only the finest, the best, people safe? What suddenly made him start to give a shit about the safety of the rest of the people in the country?

Oh, right, because three little moats won’t steal enough money from the treasury to flow to as many of his no-bid contractor buddies.

(Just a side note to anyone hanging your construction firm’s sign on his wall: I hope you bilk enough money to retire on, because nobody with a milligram of morals is ever going to hire you for anything legitimate ever again.)

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Reckon we might be in real trouble if he starts thinking about the disposal of nuclear waste and other toxic chemicals. But then, those clearly don’t have the same psychological impact as gators and snakes, as any very stable genius would know.

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Perhaps he actually is thinking of a moat–like the stereotypical ones around castles. In that case there could be no locks–the thing would have to be sea level all the way. In light of that, the trench would have to be a deep as 6500 feet in some places. It would be an incredible excavation project, one for the ages, and would cement Trump’s place in history as the builder of the most monumental object of all time.

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Costings are off because they assume adequate supply at the volumes needed. Once you exhaust the supply of alligators, its going to get very expensive.

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You’se guys are missing the point. The snakes and 'gators are just there for their deterrent value. For a cost effective system why not have inflatable Alligators and blowup Snakes? Intersperse them with a few real examples (which could be trucked along the border to do service at multiple locations) and you have yourself a totally viable ersatz terror moat that any despot would be proud of.

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(Another idea: a gator bounty could have a positive ancillary effect on “Florida Man” turnout for the 2020 election.)

Of course Trump is President Florida Man, thanks to Mar-a-Lago.

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Well, we were talking about venomous snakes. I don’t know what copperhead or water moccasin taste like. There aren’t enough coral snakes anywhere to supply the project. There is most definitely good eating on a rattlesnake (species might differ? The only one I’ve tried was Crotalus horridus).

Considering Trump’s attitude about tariffs, I don’t think he would go for imported snakes, so Micrurus, Micruroides, Agkistrodon, and Crotalus are the only four genera under consideration here.

Yep :yum:

I wouldn’t know. I’ve seen one shred a car bumper like it was made of paper. I’m not going near one of those things.

Yep. A lot of bones, not much meat. You cook it until the meat falls off the bones, much like rabbit. And, like rabbit, it tastes good but isn’t really substantial.

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Oi! Oo are yew callin’ ‘insubstantial’?

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Isn’t the conclusion that it is more cost effective than the current plans for the wall?

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