One word: calamari.
1 Like
Yeah, well - Aachen Cathedral still has Jesus’ diapers and the Devil’s thumb.
I once heard that if you assembled all the pieces of the True Cross you could build a three story building. I wondered, if you assembled all the Holy Foreskins, and say made a wallet, then could you rub it to make it turn into a suitcase?
3 Likes
PREVIOUSLY ON BOING BOING
Merry Christmas, someone stole Jesus's foreskin | Boing Boing
… and searching the archives for jesus foreskin also brings up
Frozen earthworm revived after 42,000 years in the permafrost | Boing Boing
2 Likes
It’s much worse than that. Take a sample and do a DNA-analysis, and you get half the DNA of God. With a little extra work we can clone our own baby God.
6 Likes
Isn’t it obvious? Jesus’ foreskin became his halo.
2 Likes
Actually you’d have the entire DNA of God, because he and Jesus are consubstantial. Unless you’re an Arian of course.
4 Likes
something something something…the second cumming.
1 Like
This is not just true of the Most Holy Foreskin but many christian relics. At one time there were enough skeletons of Saint Nicolas (yes, that one) around to field a football team. Maria of Magdalene had at least three heads in England alone…
I don’t want to get all Lutheran but … he had a point here 
Blackadder did this well…https://youtu.be/PyF7YmHYhYc
1 Like
I’m sure that there was an official excuse explanation for that – Miraculous Multiplication, or something.
Cue Jewish joke (another one…)
There are three fathers, all of whose sons are reaching maturity, and their fathers have decided to give them each a present.
The first father is a tailor, and has made his son a suit of clothes. They fit perfectly.
The father explains that he has saved the best offcuts of cloth all his life, in order to make this.
The second father is a carpenter. He presents his son with a chest of drawers. Each drawer fits perfectly, each door opens and closes effortlessly. It’s a beautiful peice of work. He explains that all his life he has saved offcuts of wood in order to make this masterpiece.
The third father is a Mohel (the man who performs the ritual circumcision). His son is disappointed to be handed a small wallet, looking much like a large wizened walnut. “What’s this?” he asks.
The father replies, “It may not look like much, but if you stroke it, it turns into a suitcase!”
6 Likes
Unfortunately it was destroyed by the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
3 Likes
In more modern times I’m sure they could have used it as a fan-belt on a Buick!
Badum tish anyone?!
But wouldn’t you have to serve it in the Holy Grail?
“He chose poorly.”
“It’s a bar, we get a lot of that.”
2 Likes
3 Likes
Where do you think calamari comes from?
Where do you think friendship bracelets got started?
Where is Jesus’s foreskin?
we’ll get to that, but buy me a drink first.
