While enjoying a BJ, a Florida driver blew it when he crashed into a FedEx truck

Should have scrolled, but I didn’t think anyone else would see the Garp parallel.

I always thought my ideal death would be by lightning strike. Nearer the bottom of the list, I have now added “pinned in the footwell of a car wreck while choking to death on a freshly disembodied dick”

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image

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Never have oral sex with a chimp. Or a bear. Just to be safe, not Greg Evigan either.

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Theoretically, it should be a possible cause of accidents with a female driver, but the positioning is probably tricky.

Let me check Chilton’s Carma Sutra…

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After he recovers, he will need to take his shortcomings in hand, & consider if less toothsome assignments in the future should be the order of the day.
After all, this one was pretty gristlely, especially for his former partner who obviously got a mouthful of trouble.

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The judge will now hear oral arguments…

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I enjoy a bacon and jelly sandwich as much as the next guy, but at least bring your car to a stop first. It can get a bit messy.

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either no ice in the gin or wodka …or neither

Oh Florida Man…

That guy needs an SUV with a heads-up display!

Life imitating art?
(Titus, S01 E09 “Episode Eleven”)

I’m the right age for that reference to have immediately come to mind.

I was thinking more Parenthood

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Cruise control and lane assist on then slide the seat back.

I was thinking American Gods

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I much prefer the “pull over and turn off the car” method, myself. Even better is just to get somewhere a lot more comfortable but I understand some people have kids at home or other reasons not to do that.

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