Who will Gov. Christie pick as scapegoats for the George Washington Bridge lane closures?


President Obama and the ACA, obv.


Can we get a look at that traffic study? Sounds like an interesting read if they needed to close all those lanes for two weeks.

If we don’t get a rushed sloppy brick of papers hastily assembled and waved around during a press conference someone’s not doing their job.


No way, they’re besties since Obama introduced Christie to The Boss.

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… But in a larger sense, haven’t we all ordered spurious traffic studies and unnecessary bridge closures to get back at the political opponents who have slighted us?


BAD apple!

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See, this proves that all bridges and roads must be privatized!

Then ruthless politicians won’t be able to use phony outages to punish people.

Only their owners will be able to do this, for sound free market reasons.


“An investigation has revealed the closure was ordered by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to punish Fort Lee Mayor Mark Sokolich for not endorsing Christie in his reelection campaign. In spite of repeated denials by Christie, emails released today confirm his involvement.”

The above claim is not accurate. The emails demonstrate that close aides to Christie ordered the shut down. None of the emails show Christie himself ordering the lane shutdowns.

Christie may have indeed ordered the shutdown, but that is not yet demonstrated in the emails released today.


None of the emails show Christie himself ordering the lane shutdowns. Christie may have indeed ordered the shutdown, but that is not yet demonstrated in the emails released today.

Page 4 of the documents released today mention Governor Christie approving 60k for the “traffic study”–the study Christie claims neither he nor anyone on his staff or campaign was involved:

“We are ready to do this, can someone call the Mayor of Springfield and tell him that Gov has approved $60k for their traffic study.”



In one exchange of text messages on the second day of the lane closures, Wildstein alludes to messages the Fort Lee mayor had left complaining that school buses were having trouble getting through the traffic.

“Is it wrong that I’m smiling,” the recipient of the text message responded to Wildstein. The person’s identity is not clear because the documents are partially redacted for unknown reasons.

“No,” Wildstein wrote in response.

“I feel badly about the kids,” the person replied to Wildstein. “I guess.”

Gosh, I wonder who the mystery text messager was?


Quimby’s Aide: Election in November. Election in November.
Mayor Quimby: AGAIN? This stupid country.

Text message from [redacted]: “Will no one rid me of this turbulent bridge?”


I can’t stand Christie. Horrible Governor.

Christie has denied it… And if you believe him, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to close for you.


In addition to picking who will be the scapegoat, we should also make wagers on their apology.

I’ve got a fiver on @BridgetAnneK, who, by closing her twitter account immediately, tells me that she’s a good student of social media. Thus, I expect her apology to be verbatim of someone else’s. This one would do nicely.

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Bill Keene eulogy

I’m hoping it’s taken from Rob Ford.


It wont be over till the Fat Man sings.

Hey, if Ted Cruz can run with his “partial Canadian” citizenship, maybe can we get Bumblefuck Ford down here to be on the 2016 ticket with Christie!

Bad news for the conspirators since they closed a bridge across State lines this means that the federal government has jurisdiction. This also means that Gov. Christie can’t pardon their asses. And this is bad news for Gov. Christie since if he was directly involved then he can’t use his pardon to buy their silence.