Why (or why not) to vote for Donald Trump


I know, you might think to yourself, how could I possibly support Donald Trump? The man is clearly is the love child of long haired guinea pig and an Oompa Loompa that escaped Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Yet millions of people have found reasons why (or why not) one should vote for the man.

I can think of some very good reasons a Trump Presidency would be Great for America including:

  • Gilding on the White House and an all you can eat sushi buffet
  • A huge boon to wig makers during Halloween every year
  • Watching his future cabinet members go through a Miss USA pageant
  • Every country on the planet finally admitting that we are better than them (at picking ridiculous heads of state)
  • An end to global warming (hello nuclear winter!)
  • Gambling and prostitution at Trump Brand White Houses ™ located in all 50 states (plus Puerto Rico!)

What other great reasons are there for why (or why not) one should vote for Donald Trump?

Why or Why Not; Voting for Hilary Clinton
Generic 2018 U.S. Election Cycle Recycling Bin


Glitch in the matrix; a bug we can exploit to escape our virtual prison.


David Cameron will let Trump build more of his golf courses in Scotland, overruling selfish Scottish councils and locals. Trump will then be able to pull down Michael Forbes eyesore farm and build a classy giant gold statue of himself on the land.



He’s not Hillary Clinton, and you’re willing to risk four years of something truly unknown vs eight more years of the same old shit?


Trump could imitate Putin completely and start riding a horse around bare chested. He may even have all our military leaders ride around on horses bare chested. Knowing Trump, he’d require the military to only elevate people to Generals who had nice chests. You know, to intimidate our enemies.

(I am unsure as if this is a reason to vote for Trump or not to vote for him. The spectacle might wear off after 10 or 20 seconds and turn into horror)






Gold Plated White House. Can’t wait to see how his wife redecorates the joint.



Here’s Jeb!'s Why Not:

American voters have made it clear that Washington is broken, but I’m not optimistic that either of the leading candidates for President will put us on a better course. The American Presidency is an office that goes beyond just politics. It requires of its occupant great fortitude and humility and the temperament and strong character to deal with the unexpected challenges that will inevitably impact our nation in the next four years. Donald Trump has not demonstrated that temperament or strength of character. He has not displayed a respect for the Constitution. And, he is not a consistent conservative. These are all reasons why I cannot support his candidacy.


More reasons to vote for The Donald:

  1. Three first ladies
  2. TRUMP signs on all the national monuments will be a boon to sign makers
  3. Huge investments in weather manipulation technology so the wind stops blowing his hair all around
  4. Not having to hear from your Republican family members that their party is the moral one for at least four years
  5. The Apprentice - White House Edition for interns
  6. Every National Park will have a golf course
  7. Major investments in technology to ensure his hands look bigger on video
  8. Major research investments for doing studies on average hand size, how hand size doesn’t correlate to anything and how cameras make hands look smaller than they actually are


That one must really be tempting some folks…


Interns? Heck probably for the Cabinet.


That seventh seal isn’t gonna break itself.


Vice President Gary Busey!


I’m sure this will help.