If she had misrepresented or made things up in order to sour an otherwise healthy relationship, I’d agree with you. However, ignoring this seems more akin to saying, “well, I knew there was someone hiding in your closet, but I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t any of my business.”
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I never made this comparison. Is the guy an asshole? Yes…definitely. But two wrongs do not make a right.
It’s wrong for a man to online harass a women just as is it’s equally wrong for a woman to online harass a man. I don’t care how mild it is…even if it’s just spoiling his favorite tv shows. She made a concerted, deliberate effort over many months, including creating multiple fake accounts that he blocked, in order to harass this guy as revenge. Then ten years later she remembered him well enough to go searching through his Reddit posts in order to interfere with his personal relationships.
That behavior is not acceptable. It would be just as wrong if the genders were swapped.
Great Spaghetti ghod, please let me mature and grow so I’m a better person than I was 15 years ago and anyone who tracks me down from past wrongs finds me a changed Haggis.
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I’m just reminded of Kurt Vonnegut’s book report on the bible (or the NT anyway): “Be very very careful who you lynch as they may be well-connected.”
So, be very very careful who you spit on, as they may well be obsessive and vindictive.
Really, the moral of the story (to me, anyway) is that one should strive to be polite to strangers.
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It really is a stretch to call this stalking.
Sorry, again, the original NY Post story is completely unhinged in it’s framing. It’s very much seeking to paint this woman as posing a danger to this guy… it’s bullshit.
And it sounds like her other encounters with the guy IRL showed he was a complete and utter trolley, too.
Again, that’s not what’s happening here. She did not spend 15 years stalking this guy. She sent him spoilers on FB for a while, especially after seeing him do other dickish things IRL. And then a friend got engaged to him 10 years later, and it turned out he was still a dick, so she let the woman know about it, and she was able to drop the asshole.
the NY Post is not a reliable paper. It’s right wing tabloid trash. You shouldn’t accept their framing here.
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Based on personal experience,
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Not to defend online harassment and stalking, but that guy was a misogynistic asshole.
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Which this definitely isn’t.
When you know someone is an asshole, and you have a chance to annoy them without doing harm, take it. When you know someone might be in a relationship with them, it a public fucking service to let them know just what an asshole they are dealing with before they have to find out (painfully) for themselves.
I’ve done both and it’s not stalking.
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Is it truly harmless? How do you know? Maybe this guy felt threatened and even fearful due to her unsolicited behavior. Maybe he even asked her to stop and she didn’t. She admitted to creating multiple fake accounts over the course of months of online surveillance of his activities - accounts that he attempted to block but yet, she continued to harass him - for years apparently. She dug through his Reddit profile looking for dirt on him and his relationship and deliberately broke up his engagement.
How would this not be considered stalking if the genders in this story were reversed?
I see a lot of justification and excuses being made here defending and celebrating her actions because this guy was an asshole and “he deserved it”. Excuses that wouldn’t be tolerated if the target in the story were female.
Seems like a double standard to me.
If a woman spit on my friend and I spoiled a few episodes of a show she liked? Not stalking.
If a friend was engaged to her 15 years later and it turns out she was posting some kind of revenge porn about them and I let them know? Still not stalking.
You seem to be determined to defend this misogynistic asshole no matter what. It’s not stalking - it’s consequences.
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I’m a little confused as to why he didn’t block her or mark his account as private or create a new account after the first couple messages.
That’s what I had to do it in response to a stalker a few years back, though mine was a bit more disturbing than someone sending tv spoilers.
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From the video, it seemed like it was.
Show me a situation where a man knocks into a table and a woman stands up, screams at him calling him a fat b1tch and spits on him and faces no repercussions, and maybe we can talk. The fact is, this situation is gendered all the way through, and I notice no one here is vilifying the man for his violent outburst, but quick to judge the woman for serving righteous (but essentially harmless) justice on behalf of her friend and the fiancée. She’s a fucking hero in my book.
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Women are expected to act “civilized” in the face of verbal and physical abuse, misogyny bullshit because it’s the “norm” when the abuser is a man. But when they decide to do the tenth of what their gender counterpart do, it becomes the gravest sin ever instead of “boys will be boys” bullshit.
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Given the actual details of what happened, that doesn’t even seem to be the actual case…
And again, if people would READ the article, notice that it’s being posted by a right wing tabloid, and look at the details of what happened, so much of this would be cleared up. The problem is far too many people seem eager to just accept the NY Post framing… 
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It seems like part of the problem some people have with her actions was the anonymity, creating sockpuppet accounts to trolley the asshole in question.
They seem to forget that for women, identifying yourself while taking even a modicum of payback on a man is likely to cause a violent response. Even more so since this particular guy already committed violence publicly to her friend.
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And I’ll point out once, more that this story came from NY Post, a paper absolutely committed to right wing politics, including showing that women aren’t oppressed in our society, and that feminists are out of line in demanding anything. They have very much twisted this story into one that was meant to make her seem like an unhinged stalker. But the facts do not bear that narrative out. Are there women who are stalkers and pose a danger to others? Well yeah! Is this an example of that - NOT BY A LONG SHOT…
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Agreed! …You should still be polite to strangers though.
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“Should” is a long way gone from what actually is, friend.
These days, many people don’t have any respect for themselves let alone anyone else.
The woman in this story didn’t harass or “stalk” the man in question; she trolled him, and later when she found out a friend was going to tie herself to him she gave a fair warning.
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I mean, sometimes… or at least in most cases, sure. Not a controversial point. But what people mean by that for women is often not just politeness, it’s “accepting compliments” when they’re not asked for, or “smiling” so we’ll be prettier to the men leering at us, etc… not accept those kinds of “compliments” means we’re often called “rude” at best, or worse, awful names, or we get threatened with violence…
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Okay then…let’s do a little thought experiment. Consider the following hypothetical:
If it were to happen that I get into an altercation with a girl at a bar and she calls me a fat pig and spits in my face, then based on the comments here, I’m totally justified to go find her Facebook and other online profiles and secretly research her activities and interests with the intention of sending her annoying, unsolicited comments and messages for months and months from a bunch of sock puppet accounts because that’s not stalking….it’s just trollling and that’s harmless.
Then years later if by chance I hear that this girl is cheating on her fiancé (who is a friend of a friend), then I’m also totally justified in digging up dirt on her activities and sending the evidence to her mate in order to break up their engagement because he’s better off without her and I can feel good about helping the guy dodge a bullet without ever revealing who I am.
And I can do all of this knowing that I’m doing the world a public service because the girl who I encountered briefly a decade earlier is, in my judgement, a horrible person and she deserves it. After all, I’m the one who gets to decide if what I’m doing is harassment or just harmless fun, amirite? I can then post a TikTok describing what I did and get thousands of high fives and attaboy’s and bask in the glory of my righteous deeds.
Now, please educate me on why the above scenario is totally different than the one in the story.
Or is it really the fact that this case serves as a proxy for the millions of other women who have suffered abuse from a toxic creep and never received justice? Therefore it allows us to set aside the questionable tactics she used to exact her revenge?
