I’m having a hard time finding a good faith angle to your hypothetical. Either you didn’t actually read the details of this situation or you are intentionally biasing your hypothetical for rhetorical points. I’m not sure which is worse.
These weren’t random strangers as your hypothetical presents. They were classmates known to each other at the same college.
There is also a high likelihood that in your gender-swapped hypothetical that there would be immediate violent reprisal against the woman with little-to-no repurcussions to the attackers. That is not the same as the original situation.
In order to capture the power differential of the original case, you would probably need to have the woman be a cop. That’s the only way to capture the risk of violence from the original.
You are overly dramatizing the Facebook incident for effect. The reality is, in a gender-swapped version, a woman who spat on and insulted a college classmate in a bar would face far more dangerous repurcussions than receiving TV show spoilers. Up to and including murder and/or rape, with a high likelihood of little-to-no consequences to the man. That is a statistical fact.
Finally, you’ve failed to capture the severity of the malfeasance of the asshole in the original scenario. They hint around the edges of it, but it sounds like he was publishing some kind of revenge porn of his fiance. Anyone who finds that kind of nastiness has an absolute duty to tell their friend about it regardless of gender.
And ultimately, I think it’s telling that at least twice now you have tried to frame disagreement to your insistence that this case was stalking as irrational.
She sounds pretty “hinged” to me. She didn’t destroy the guy’s life or try to kill him or anything wildly out of proportion with the insult he’d given. She was observant and used readily available info to spoil some TV shows he liked, then pretty much dropped it until she saw someone was going to marry him. And, knowing the sort of asshole he was, she guessed that there’d be easy-to-find evidence of wrongdoing on his part and used it to save her friend from being abused by him. She’s a hero and not only is there no victim to this crime, there’s no crime. Good for her.
@anon61221983 explained to you that the framing of this story is dubious at best. From the tabloid’s own story, it was apparent that the man had a history intimidating women in his classes when this incident took place. I can tell you that no woman walks away from any physical altercation with a man thinking that nothing more will happen. They will always be looking over their shoulder even more than they already do, which is every single time they step out of their home.
I can also tell you that the breezy narrative in the tabloid probably spared you details such as her friend’s heart skipping some beats and the shock of “Did he really just spit on me?” Then the adrenaline (flight) kicked in. She probably went to the bathroom to wash up and then she may have cried a bit. She probably wanted to leave the club, but either her friend calmed her down or she decided to stay as to not ruin the night. Later, both women probably worried that the asshole may do something more after they left the club or possibly later at the university. I also suspect that her friend suffered some mild PTSD, which is why her friend posted
My safety at a comedy club, or anywhere else, isn’t a thought experiment. Until men feel the same fear we women feel doing normal activities outside our home, we can’t help you do your thinking.
I must have missed the part where you mentioned in your hypothetical that they were students at the same college, had classes together, had known negative interactions with the spitter before, and that the asshole in question had been posting revenge porn of their fiancée.
It’s really telling to me that in your hypothetical, she’s a girl. Not a woman.
It speaks to how you think about women. Though, tbh, that was already rather clear from your posts in this thread.
Touch me again and I’ll cut off your hand
There are some things you’ll never understand
You do not dance everyday with the fеar
Of living in headlights, the hunted, thе deer
I’m not going to dignify your insinuation with a response.
The details about their college association are redundant to the main point and doesn’t really add anything to the facts of the story.
Also I heard nothing about “revenge porn” but ok. My point still stands.
Look, If you guys want to continue to shout me down and pile on for holding a different opinion than the rest of the hive mind here then so be it. I’m not going to just roll over and acquiesce because the mob doesn’t like the arguments I’m making. Sorry.
That was not an insinuation, that was a statement of fact, that you have regularly referred to the woman as a girl. It’s fucking infantilizing to do so. It’s diminishes women when you call us “girls” in such a context. It’s makes us seem as we’re lesser than men, and therefore SHOULD BE SUBJECT TO MEN’S AUTHORITY… So, don’t do that, maybe?
Have you or someone you love ever had to go through the hellish ordeal of being stalked before? I really think that some perspective would be useful here, because actual stalking is fucking terrifying.
What insinuation? You called a grownass woman a “girl,” which is sexist bs from like, the 1950s.
And btw, it’s about what you said. Objecting to the sexist use of girl for a woman is objecting to a word, and not an insinuation, let alone a statement, about the person who said it.
Is it really your opinion that alerting a woman whose fiancé is posting images of her online without her knowledge or consent is problematic? The affianced, once she was aware, thought it was bad enough to break off the engagement. With her own agency. WTF.
And really, does it matter what he was posting?
If I were engaged to someone, and a friend of theirs found my Reddit profile or Facebook page or whatever and forwarded it to my affianced because they saw red flags, that’s more like a public service than stalking imo.
And if the stuff on my social media is bad enough that my intended breaks it off with me, it’s really better to find out sooner rather than later. Especially for the person on the weak end of the power dynamic, which is very usually the WOMAN. Or, in some states, girl, I guess.
Too late, that BINGO square has already been filled.
The point remains that men are the dominant in-group who hold all the power - in that imbalanced dynamic, even the biggest outliers can never pose as much of a threat to men as men inherently pose to women.
