I see what you did there 
2 Likes
Someone attempting to make a point about laws that unfairly infringe upon the rights of women to make choices about our bodies? Or are we somehow different and less deserving of equal rights?
OH! Now I get it! Sorry!
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Only with a doctor’s note.
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So does this count for Texans currently residing in other countries?
*Asking for a friend, because he’s blown $700 in the last 24 hours.
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where can i sign to make this happen? +1 to her for brilliant, grade-A trolling.
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Can i get a portrait of this Texas rep to frame? She’s my new hero.
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What’s doubly funny about this is, is that masturbation is also a sin under the religious strictures that anti-abortionists follow…and so under the same reasoning used by the monsters trying to make abortion a felony, this law should be logical.
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Oh, you know I would lock eyes and never blink.
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Unregulated emissions, huh?
Now I know how Volkswagen feels.
So, can I get a license to wank, or do I have to file for a permit every time?
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The graphic is vexingly misleading. You would infer that eastern TX is its prostate accessible via Shreveport LA. The metaphor is better represented by Houston and Galveston Bay.
Although, Shreveport . . .
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you’ll have to file for professional masturbateer if you wish to cover wasted emissions for the calendar year, though i’d expect the cost for it to be affordable only for those that make a decent living… or do porn.
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If you like your doctor you can…
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What you did there, I see it.
…that said, somewhere there’s fundamentalist Christians absolutely delighted after reading this bill, and the whoosh of the joke going over their heads was audible in the next county.
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I know exactly how this would go. My doc would be John cleese.
“You masturbate”
“No you masturbate”
“No you masturbate”
“No you masturbate”
Then we would all get slapped by fish, and Graham Chapman would show up to tell us how silly we are.
So, in a nutshell, that’s how American reproductive services work?
9 Likes
It’s tough, but fair.
One or two, but the thing is, it’s all about the double standard with these guys, so the vast majority of those looking to police women’s bodies will just be outraged and probably not even see the parallels.
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Yea, but this is Texas. She should be careful, 'cause they just might pass it.
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The Bible actually says nothing about masturbation, although a lot of people have mis-read the story of Onan. God kills Onan not for masturbation, but for pulling out of his dead brother’s wife when he fucked her and ‘spilling his seed on the ground’. Basically ‘Onan’s Sin’ was coitus interuptus. This, of course does not prevent religious nuts from believing whatever in the hell they want.
13 Likes
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I’d be excited to see this pass, except I live in Texas.
I hope she included the cynical and condescending “all in the interest of men’s health” statement in there somewhere.
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Yes, and this is why comparing the accepted forms of birth control between religious sects is helpful in understanding their attitudes about sex in general.
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