Woman trapped with a blind date after Chinese COVID lockdown

Originally published at: Woman trapped with a blind date after Chinese COVID lockdown | Boing Boing

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From the first article:
“Friends have been calling him and I think this has definitely affected his life, so I have taken them down for now,” she said in a video posted Tuesday that was widely republished in Chinese local media.

Did…did she dox him while criticizing his cooking and his personality? At least she did the right thing and took the videos down “for now.”

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That’s one way of eliminating a typically unsuitable match arranged by one’s parents. They can’t say she’s not trying.

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Conventional blind date = test driving a car
This blind date = renting a car for several weeks.

There are cars that I might have bought if I’d just taken them for a test drive, but having rented them for long trips, I would never buy them. She won’t be left with any “maybe I should give him a second chance” doubts at this point.

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Uh, no. This sounds like a woman trapped in a horribly misogynist society where she is being treated as worthless property, having value only defined by whether she’s married and young. Even by her own parents. Fuck this.

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I don’t think it requires doxing. If we random people in America found out about it, surely it is even more likely someone who knows him saw the videos on Weibo, told others, and boom now everyone is like, “What is going on, man?”

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The date that never ends…

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This seems like it could be made into an excellent Asian drama.

Blind date stuck together for months. Bad cooking, not a very chatty guy. Revealed on the news, gets made fun of by his friends.

But, he takes the opportunity to get constructive criticism about his cooking and other lifestyle choices. He gets better. Both experience personal growth in dealing with adversity.

Pandemic ends but they stay in touch. You see her at work (call center worker) performing day to day tasks, where something reminds her of their time together. Camera cut to his job as a computer repairman, where he is also reflecting on their time together. Both too stubborn to really make the move and ask to see each other again, but they message a few times a week.

One night, both are out on a date again, and both dates are terrible people. They are messaging each other about it and laughing. One date sees the message and storms out (the lady’s date), the other one (the guy’s date) goes to the bathroom and never comes back.

Both sit at their respective tables a little relieved, a little sad. Sad pop music swelling. They look across the restaurant and lock eyes – they are at the same place! The lady walks across and sits down at the man’s table. Music takes a happier turn.

Credits roll.

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Next on Netflix…

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Dang, based on what information is available in this story I really feel worse for her date than I do for her. If he’s not talkative maybe it’s because he’s following the classic advice “if you can’t think of something nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” which is clearly not the course she’s choosing to take. He didn’t create this situation so posting public videos criticizing his cooking while still staying at his place isn’t cool. Did she offer to cook a few meals herself? The story says her date offed to cook all the meals and doesn’t say anything about her helping at all.

I’ve been on one blind date in my life an it was an… experience. She demanded that the restaurant staff serve her an item that wasn’t on the menu, asked me to buy her tacky shit at a street fair, and lit up a cigarette in my car, among other things. Most of her conversation focused on how she was looking for a husband. I was not particularly talkative on that date and was counting the seconds until it was over. But at least she wasn’t posting videos critical of me at the time (this was before social media and I wouldn’t have put it past her if that was available back then.) I don’t know what I would have done if we were locked in together during a pandemic but it would not have been pretty.*

*(Edit: to be clear I’m not saying I would have been violent towards this person, just that my polite silence would have come to an end at some point.

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IME China has a culture of open criticism where sensitivity towards it is seen as the flaw and not the other way around. It’s… different.

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(post deleted by author)

drama, period. You know the script is already in a second rewrite and being passed around in LA. Personally, I’m already casting JLaw and Bradley Cooper.

I think the film ends when the lockdown ends. Economically, its a cheap “bottle” episode, perhaps with cutaways/flashbacks, but otherwise, the action never leaves the apartment once it enters the apartment.

The final scene is [EXT. BUILDING - DAY] them leaving the threshold of the apartment building, hand in hand, both looking forward. [FADE OUT]. Or, perhaps, [ZOOM OUT SLOWLY / OVERHEAD], and watch them, along with others similarly emerging from their lockdown, from afar. This writes itself! [Although, really: this is an ideal construct for a play, rather than a movie; but I need that cool Netflix check to pay some creditors.]

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Sure

In an American film/tv sure. My opinion based on the handful of Asian TV dramas I have seen (and the many dozens my wife watches) is that the plot element of separation and getting back together is a hugely common theme. No way the show ends at the end of the pandemic, because you wouldn’t have that element.

If this was a Korean drama, then you’d also have a bunch of scenes with the guy crying for various reasons. Maybe mix in some time travel somehow, idk.

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I was not particularly talkative on that date and was counting the seconds until it was over.

Seems like you understand how this woman feels, too. The fact that many young people today put everything they do online is what makes her posting appear less intentionally mean and more thoughtless. :woman_shrugging:t4: As for the cooking, I get where this man is coming from, too. I don’t like anyone else cooking in my kitchen. People offer, but I always refuse. That could lead to a worse outcome during a lockdown scenario, when supplies on hand have to be considered while planning meals.

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Something something women will laugh at them something something fear men will kill them.

I can’t imagine how awful it must be to be trapped without being able to go home in a strange man’s home, where you only went because of family pressure to get married at all costs, away from comfort and familiarity, and unable to even complain about it to anyone without his perceived emotional needs (the needs of a strange man you don’t want to be with, btw) being considered more important.

The whole thing: marriage culture in china all the way to the way this woman is being seen as a willing partner in this who isn’t meeting her obligations as a potential wife is gross and sad.

Fuck misogyny sucks. US misogyny meets Chinese misogyny.

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Ok then, we can agree that per the information in the article she was acting thoughtlessly in a way that, per her own words, “has definitely affected his life.”

I’m not suggesting that she deserves zero sympathy for finding herself in this unfortunate circumstance but, based on what we know from the article and from her own words, most of my sympathy still lies with her date.

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From what little we know of these two I’d say her behavior was probably less courteous but her position is also less enviable. If I was trapped in lockdown with a stranger I’d rather be stuck in my own place than in theirs.

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And, for the stranger to be a woman rather than a man.

I know I wouldn’t feel safe falling asleep.

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Fair.

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