You can put pickles up yourself


Originally published at:


Arg, I could really use those Picklestone jars, they look great.

Speaking of long and slender things, AjiProject also make these fine bookends. Just look at them:


I thought all the Violet Blue articles had been scrubbed



Now that I have your attention, let me tell you about this pickling tool you’ll want to buy…


With apologies to Cool Hand Luke, a man can’t eat 50 cucumbers. Not in one sitting.

Yeah, I don’t know, that actually seems like one of the more eminently doable food challenges out there. It’s little more than drinking 50 glasses of water…

…unless we’re not actually talking about cucumbers here…


Fancy tools not required…


I was expecting a more NSFW article, given the headline was “How to put pickles up yourself.”


I like these:

they work with my big mason jars


I pickled green cherry tomatoes a few years back. Easy and fun!


Preach it.

When my patio crop of cucumbers and peppers is ready in a couple of months, I’d need twenty+ of these elegant little Japanese devices to put them up.

I make great spicy refrigerator pickles using these, one-time hardware cost for 15 liters of pickles about $80.


Fridge pickling doesn’t require anything special, but the special equipment does help with the fermentation pickling. Keeping everything submerged, easy to clean, keeping out dust and cat hair, one way air-locks.All really helpful in keeping your batch from being ruined and growing fuzzy.

Now I really want to start a batch. But I’m stuck at work.


The glass jars I use can also be used for conventional hot canning, I’ve done that too.

I just think that a cute kickstarter gadget which looks as if it would make about a half liter of pickles is, well, silly. And doubtlessly way overpriced. I can imagine what Alton Brown would say about it.


It says “you can”, not “how to”. It doesn’t explain how, just says it’s theoretically doable:



50 glasses of water is about 25 pounds of water.


at one time canning produce from green beans, tomatoes, and pickles to preserves, jelly, and jam was serious business for my grandmother and grandfather who lived through the great depression and raised a large garden every year. i took part in the process from a young age helping out with various tasks appropriate to my age and skill set.

these days i maintain my canning skills with things like salsa, preserves, and such. two days ago while i was having a long visit with my mother i put up 2 pints of cayenne pepper sauce, 5 pints of tomatoes and 11 pints + 2 quarts of salsa. some friends of my mom had given her two bushels of tomatoes along with a peck of jalapenos and half a peck of cayenne peppers. next week when i go back to visit i’ll make 12-14 pints of blackberry jam.

i used to like pickles but i lost my taste for them 20-22 years ago.


Does your mom grow herbs too? You could totally do some chutney! Yummy mint chutney.


ok, so let’s totally What If this…

apparently an average cucumber is about 201 grams and a cucumber is about 95% water by weight. ok so:

201g x 0.95 = 191g water x 50 cucumbers = 9,550g = 9.5 liters (or 9.5/3.79l ~ 2.5 gallons)

And apparently 6 liters of water in 3 hours has one kill to it’s name, so…A touch, a touch, I do confess.


I’ve been pickling for 4-5 years. Since my radishes are in, this is my weekend plan:


Well I’ll be damned. It’s not 50 glasses of water, but maybe 40, and that’s still a fuckton* of water. It’s about four times what I’d normally consume in the course of a day, and I drink a lot of water.

*an imperial fuckton, not a metric fucktonne.

Hyponatremia sucks. It’s happened to me on occasion, and it always feels like I’m literally about to die.


That’s the joke.