I don’t think it’s inappropriate – I think it’s hypocritical and asinine. That’s why I’m calling your attention to it rather than that of a mod.
If you think that you should be allowed to criticize other people’s comments but they shouldn’t be able to criticize yours, then I don’t know what to tell you.
I replied to him “I was making the joke for sake of making the joke” I never stated I was upset by what he said. I understood his snark entirely, and if our positions were reversed, I’d have replied to him the same way.
and no you are not AS…you are you. and I’d like to think you’d have looked at the context of what I said and that while I joked about the trope, and followed up with a serious point that it does happen to married couples and that it is understandable when/if it does that it does not mean I spoke for all married couples everywhere or applied any percentage or data to it at all. Simply that it happens to some…yes generally speaking. Because generally speaking it does.
and your point about polling people here is perfectly fair. And if I polled my circle of friends (most married, not all, most with children, not all) the majority would concur with me that their sex lives have suffered due to life getting in the way. Scientific…nope. A generalization.
Oh snap! Looks like @Modusoperandi got hold of @anon15383236’s account!
Right? It’s got to be parody, right?
Dear sweet Jesus please tell me it’s parody.
@quorihunter basically said people in these studies were lying. I challenged him on that. He took umbrage and I tried to let him know why the trope is a broad generalization and that maybe the people doing studies might know something… Maybe you can explain how that’s hypocritical?
No one is even talking about the joke anymore but your insistence there is a nugget of truth in it. You doubled down on it two or three times and then when someone points to you you throw your hands up because it’s just a joke.
If you say:
[quote=“quorihunter, post:75, topic:100633”]
I always do say though…most jokes, especially tropes, do come from some element of truth. Many marriages suffer sexually in reality… For most married couples…the sex life is the first thing to suffer. It shouldn’t…but it often does.
[/quote]Which is pretty charged since you saying there is truth in the “sex suffers in marriage” joke, which is universally about women withholding sex from men, has a nugget of truth three times in a sentence, then follow it up with “but those studies lie 
” you can’t then complain about your repeated insistence shouldn’t be taken seriously. I took you seriously because you repeatedly validate the trope over and over just to not lose ground on the internet.
And this is not an attack, I’m just telling you that I felt you came across that way.
fair enough. my insistence is that often married couples can find their sex lives lacking. That is the trope, and the joke. I did not assign any gender bias or blame in it. I expressly stated as such.
Uh, no he made a joke.
Because when he’s like “it’s a joke” and you’re all “well actually the published research says…” instead of acknowledging the joke, it’s hypocritical for you to expect people to play along with your jokes (i.e. “bitch…nagging”).
If you seriously criticize other people’s joke comments, then other people get to seriously criticize your joke comments. Doesn’t that just seem fair?
This is what we’re talking about. I thought that this was what I said.
Ouch, it really does hurt to bite my tongue this hard.
The joke has a gender bias. Period. That’s the problem with talking about it very generally, and then wondering why (primarily female) posters would have a problem. I’ve certainly been guilty about it, like, all the time.
I felt I saw something you didn’t and wanted to point it out.
Read down where he said people in the studies were lying. You quoted it.
And @Sagoli noted the joke, made one of their own, and this was the result.
But clearly, you have no interest in what I have to say about this matter as you’ve made up your mind about what I meant and that I was somehow attacking @quorihunter rather than trying to engage them in conversation about this, so I guess we’re done.
Have a good day.
like I said…fair point. I can concur I get what you are seeing. I’ll leave it at that.
Okay folks, calm down.
So, who else speak from personal experience about rape besides me? I mean, if everyone’s getting personal, why not stick straight to the topic?
unfortunately I can. No I was not raped…my spouse was. (edit: not by me, because at this point I cannot think anyone won’t make assumptions)
I’m sorry to hear that. It sucks. I hope she got the help she needed afterwards.
I only know a guy that was raped by a woman. It really messed him up and he could find no one that could see his voice at all; his girlfriend of several years that he loved dumped him for cheating, the girl that did it bragged about sleeping with him (he was popular at the time), no authority would even listen to him without dismissing him, and he slid into drugs/alcohol abuse. It was a couple years before he brought it up because he said something awful about the girl when we were at the same party and I called him out on it only for him to pull me aside and tell me this.
It was pretty heavy at 17 or 18.
Personal, to be certain, but I should’ve phrased that differently; Who in this room has been raped at least once other than myself?
I really think that was unnecessary, no matter who has said what. We’re grown-ups here; I’d think we’d all be able to leave our pre-emptive defenses off the screen, such as it is. And it’s a tacky statement of fact. Maybe folks don’t agree with your point of view, but I don’t think that they’d jump to that conclusion.
P.S.: If you remember, I stated above that one of my rapists was my late, 2nd ex-husband. I debated adding “but i didn’t kill him”, because that’s just plain tacky, and it’s assuming you folks here would think I’d do something like that.
This is another major problem with this assholes view of rape, that it’s something that happens to women, rather than something that happens to any number of people in any number of situations. Men being raped still isn’t often taken seriously… but then again, neither are women when they are raped. Rape itself is not taken seriously.
I am not always the most tactful person and have been known to where my heart on my sleeve.
I do recall exactly what you stated above and if you’d have added that part, I would have replied “You’re better than I”.
I know what it means to have someone you love, use and/or violate you.
