That’s just … really weird.
Remember that Boy Scout mnemonic: “Leaflets three, great TP.”
2 Likes
Yes, they have. 8 out of 10 cats prefer it that way
15 Likes
LOL my cat use to do this allot. Come after work to find the entire bathroom floor covered in shredded toilet paper. Loved that cat.
7 Likes
But they said it would work just fine for brown eyes!
4 Likes
45 comments in and nobody’s mentioned how the park visitors who need more paper must be SOL (Shit Out of Luck)?
4 Likes
They need to hook this into that state social media app: Use too many sheets and your civic score goes down.
2 Likes
Since the implementation of Phase XVII of the Austerity Program, employees have been allowed to bring their own bathroom tissue from home. This approach is somewhat bulky and redundant, as every worker usually brings their own roll.
Some offices have attempted to meet this challenge by instituting bathroom-tissue pools.
Without overgeneralizing, it may be stated that an inherent and irreducible feature of any bathroom-tissue pool implemented at the office level, in an environment (i.e., building) in which comfort stations are distributed on a per-floor basis (i.e., in which several offices share a single facility) is that provision must be made within the confines of the individual office for temporary stationing of bathroom tissue distribution units (i.e., rolls). This follows from the fact that if the BTDUs (rolls) are stationed, while inactive, outside of the purview of the controlling office (i.e., the office that has collectively purchased the BTDU)-that is, if the BTDUS are stored, for example, in a lobby area or within the facility in which they are actually utilized, they will be subject to pilferage and “shrinkage” as unauthorized persons consume them, either as part of a conscious effort to pilfer or out of an honest misunderstanding, i.e., a belief that the BTDUs are being provided free of charge by the operating agency (in this case the United States Government), or as the result of necessity, as in the case of a beverage spill that is encroaching on sensitive electronic equipment and whose management will thus brook no delay. This fact has led certain offices (which shall go unnamed-you know who you are, guys) to establish makeshift BTDU depots that also serve as pool-contribution collection points. Usually, these depots take the form of a table, near the door closest to the facility, on which the BTDUs are stacked or otherwise deployed, with a bowl or some other receptacle in which participants may place their contributions, and typically with a sign or other attention-getting device (such as a stuffed animal or cartoon) requesting donations. A quick glance at the current regulations will show that placement of such a display/depot violates the procedure manual. However, in the interests of employee hygiene, morale, and group spirit-building, my higher-ups have agreed to make a one-time exception in the regulations for this purpose.
– William Gibson, Snow Crash
(which I totally need to read again.)
7 Likes
Came for the Demolition Man references; was not disappointed.
7 Likes
seems like this policy could backfire stupendously. I mean if the dispensed 2’ wasn’t enough (let’s just say I had taco bell or something), and I had to stew in a stall for 9 minutes… I think I’d just start finding other smooth surfaces in that bathroom to use.
Also, how much does a facial recognition dispenser cost relative to TP? Just how much TP can you buy for the cost of one of these machines?
2 Likes
Close, not quite.
For me it’s no so much about reading again as reading for the 597th time.
7 Likes
I would love to read that book.
But also, the scene at The Feds takes on new meaning now that we know the Trump presidency is in the pre-snowcrash era. Maybe it wasn’t Reagan notes which were being used as toilet paper.
1 Like
Wait, do I have to take my dose of Compliance, and keep my shiv in a nice box?
Wow… I don’t know how I managed that. I read a lot of both of them for a while but their styles really aren’t that similar 
Anyway, I read it two or three times before loaning it to a friend whose apartment then flooded with my book on the floor. I need to dig up another copy.
3 Likes
More for me!
3 Likes
You are most thoroughly excused, my fellow conchologist! I did not expect to encounter another of my esteemed sub-sub-specialists at this bbs!
Though I think you may be mistaken. While scallopoids do make for excellent low-volume “sea shells,” Dean, Deluca, et al published their findings on the suitability of the Busycon californium in 2006 at Shellacspo - San Diego, for use as “sea shells” with more prodigious capacity.
Here is an image of the above-named whelk, whole, prior the shell preparation:
1 Like
