Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round 2

Jack. Come over here a second.

Look, Cougar’s her own person. I met her when I was literally at the end of my rope, thanks to Toecutter’s gang, and she cut me down and gave me water when she could have taken all the gas outta my tank and left me to rot. She has an idealism and an integrity that should be completely extinct by now, and I have no idea why she felt moved to raise this kid with me except for the fact it happened and felt more natural than anything else since Chelsea shit the bed. All I know about Coug from before we met is what she’s told everyone else here. I know her history predates her cuttin’ my rope by two decades at least, but she never told me any of it and I never asked. She knows about as much about me, for what that’s worth.

Anyway, if you two have a history, it’s no skin off my dick. Ain’t none of us sprung outta the cabbage patch last week. But if you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from her all day it’s because she’s been drunk off her ass with the top latched up, then passed out over her SHITGO interface, ever since you started making noise about the past. I’ll speak for myself and say that I think she’d appreciate that speechifying you made about trust, and why we gotta look out for each other because of what this world has become. I might add that what the smarties call Enlightened Self-Interest doesn’t take much enlightenment these days. Mechanics need us, and we need Mechanics. Dwelling on the finer points of that will only get us squintin’ askance with mistrust at each other, and you and I both know that that’ll get us all killed.

Focusing on staying at 100% repaired condition is all right for now, but we don’t know what the future holds. Right now we can afford parts, if barely. What if parts start gettin’ tough to come by up the road? What if the next junkyard charges 30LP for a parts package? At that point, we’re gonna need to think about what we wanna do. Maybe, for lack of parts, the whole Trust-The-Mechanics-Or-Don’t-We goes away, and we have to enter an engagement at something like 40% condition. Limping into a fight isn’t my preferred entrance, nor is it anyone’s, but if that situation arises, we’ll just spend our LP on SPeed-upgrades, if we think gettin’ in-and-out or past the bad guys quickly will save our bacon. Or maybe it’ll seem like ARmor improvement is a better investment. Or maybe we just decide to shoot the shit outta everyone with upgraded FirePower, and maybe go out in a blaze of glory.

I tellya, Jack, it’s a mistake to assume that what we’ve been through, and what we’re just about to go through, are in any way indicative of what’s ahead. Has it gotten harder? Sure. Is it gonna keep getting harder? Probably be a good idea to assume so, but there’s no way to project whether it’ll get easier first, or if we’ll simultaneously encounter low-risk low-reward missions directly alongside high-risk high-reward ones. I mean seriously, Junior, do you think this whole thing is some kind of game?!

Whatever. I just think we need to move forward with the right attitude. If we assume we’re fucked, then we’re fucked. But if we prepare for being fucked, and yet operate under the assumption that we can pull all this shit off if we give it our best shot… I believe we’ll have our best chance of pulling it off.

Yeah, Blazer Vincent Peale, that’s me. Kiss my ass.

Now, if you wanna work through some issues with Cougar and this past of yours, that’s your own funeral. But I’ve known her long enough to figure this out: you hurt her bad. And I don’t like that one bit.

But that’s not my business. She’d tell me if she meant it to be otherwise.

You give her time and space. And you watch what you say.

She’ll deal with you in her own time. And in her own way.


…walking his Pibble (that’s a mutated chiwawa + pitbull x-breed) just as the dog starts to shit…

“AHEM! Yeah, Hi, Ahhhh… Come on BABYGIRL!” (yanking the lease)

“…Okay! G’nite bye…”

Picks up dog and QUICKLY walks back to camp 1b! </1>

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((ooc: @Donald_Petersen @penguinchris Upon re-reading the segment above, I believe I over-generalized some things that Stretch said earlier.

Explicitly: Is it true that a mechanic’s total cost for repairs to 100% health is 1LP?

To put it another way: Is it true that mechanics can only repair other players to 75% health, but are able to repair to 100% their own health?

IF the above is true, then I paid Stretch for work I could do myself. Rather than change my purchases at this late hour, I request that my LP total be increased by the 3LP that I paid Stretch and I’ll just carry the funds forward to the next mission.))


If Cougar is just going to ignore this situation with the mechanics and leave it to us to sort it out then we will. By my count there are nine mechanics. She just signed eight death warrants. We are just cannon fodder until you kids are down to the last one. Then that mechanic will be your king because if he dies you are all screwed. Their blood is gonna be on Cougars hands. I knew this was a suicide mission…

Nope. 16 of them.


Ain’t no way that all the non-Mechanics is gonna agree on which eight of you to kill. 'Sides, I aren’t any kind of union man myself, but I figger that if all you other mechanics stick together, then you could all just refuse to work on anyone who killed one a you. Nobody’s gonna take that chance, when your labor is so much cheaper than mine. ‘Course, I wouldn’t mind gettin’ a few customers, but I’m doing good 'nuff just selling parts.

Shore, it’s true. Shame that I’m losing out on your extra 3 LP, but I’ll tell Wash to correct your account in his logbook.


((ooc: Again, thank you for your prompt reply :smiley: ))

[quote=“drman321, post:226, topic:20915”]She just signed eight death warrants.

Honestly, my boy, I don’t see the need for the melodramatics. There isn’t a single Driver out here objecting to your little guild. We all know how capitalism turned out, none of us want to go down the road of the invisible hand again.

The De’Aths have always been a Liberal (capital L) family, pater sat in the Cross Benches. I won’t support scabs. California might not exist any longer, but this still isn’t a Right to Work state.

The major’s chart shows your jalopys are a little underpowered, that’s true -
But by today’s prices you can repair yourself to 100% for 1 LP. That costs me 10 LP plus union rates, and you can read with all the benefits that entails. Those extra LPs will see you rapidly catch and exceed the Scouts (none of whom are complaining, despite the beating they took getting here too), and then the rest of us.

You’re not having to make the choices others already are of trading upgrades for repairs, and you never will.

Pick a fair price, and the Road Warriors will look after you so long as you need it, and we’ll all be on our jolly way to Mars. Also worth noting that simply being here and quoting a price was enough for Clank to do some good business. We value straight forward up frontedness over discounts, here.

I call dibs on Phobos, btw.


I’m down with joining up with you on this good time. If you watch my back while I’m rooting through boxes I’ll split everything I find with you, same deal vice versa?


By the way…a mechanic called Clank (@davide405)?

Oh, my mistake. That was Klunk. Any relative?


If you got the freon for it I recommend you give the crew a long blast to tell us when we’re locked & loaded and rolling out. I’ve been itching to lend some support to the crazies going off on their own after the weapons on mission2 but I can’t tell if anyone’s roared off yet.

@Mister44 @monsterzero If it ain’t too late I’ll switch to mission 2. Lord knows there ain’t enough armor in that convoy and Cougar’d never forgive me if I just let those folks go to the great scrap heap in the sky when I could’ve been there. It’s too early to be losing good cars like Jane and Jacky.

Besides, there’s no “sneaking” in a backdoor with 10 engines screaming up the place and with so much rubber going to the Skunkworks already Mission1 looks like a waste of gas anyway.

@daneel @peregrinus_bis If Maj. Joseph and Sir Gonville are still willing to come with, I think we might make it out of there in once piece with a bit of FirePower to show for it.

After all, there’re 3 missions for a reason right? Cougar wouldn’t ask us to do it if it didn’t need doin’.


Sweet deal, but I may be heading out to the beach, seems like 1B is pretty popular with the kids these days and I want to make sure we get that chain. Otherwise we’re using up my rope, which makes me unhappy.

Here’s 1LP for the repairs and an extra one for being nice enough to be proactive about it while I slept off that trip. I’ll go get a repair kit and set things straight all around.


Far as I can tell, we were s’posed to be locked nearly twelve hours ago. I appreciate that you guys are here at all, doing this job that I asked (though I have no problem with those of you who aren’t doing it for me but for your own reasons), so I can give you leeway when circumstances permit, but Jane @penguinchris and Wash @JonasEggeater need time to see these things through to completion. If they’re okay with applying the info given them in the last 12 hours, great. Maybe they’ll give you one more hour to get your shit together; I’ll leave that up to them. But unless they expressly permit that last hour, I’m nailing the lid shut now. (And if they say the last 12 hours were too late for adjustments, that’s their call, since they run logistics in this operation, and we can’t do it without them.)

As far as those who haven’t contacted them at all for this Round, those bums will stay here with me and Blazer, and guard the Ark. That’s not a risk-free gig, so I’ll pay 'em to do it, but the risk of Raiders is fairly low, so I’m only paying 5LP. And they’ll be manning the pizza ovens, too. There will be hot and fresh pepperoni-and-Italian sausage pizza, some Hawaiian pizza, and as a bonus for our brave Missiongoers: Blazer’s been saving two cases of cold Heineken and a sixpack of Mr Pibb for when you get back. The lazy bums have to serve the Missiongoers.

Maybe the next Round will interest them more.


Well, between Bill the BUM’s (@webiii1976) fine work (2 LP) and a final polish by Stretch (Repair kit +7 HP), I should be up to 100% after spending 11LP. With those other 4 I’m going to get some armor and trade in some of the aftermarket parts I’d had to put in through the years with some nicer stuff, probably those struts which I took off a Pinto about a year ago.

That said, I’m going to meet up with Gentleman Jim (@sarcadian) and whoever else wants to make a party (@awjt, @peregrinus_bis, @bizmail_public) for the beach blanket bingo party this evening, hope you can make it.


Baltar, you’re one tardy-ass banana. Correct your chronometer (maybe just switch “PM” to “AM” right now), have a cold slice for breakfast, and screw your ass to your throne. We’re saddling up.


All of us mechanics with onomatopoeic names that sound like somethin’ breakin’ are related… somehow :wink:


Love to, old chap, but m’hands are tied.

Have your people call my people and we’ll arrange something next time round?


Man, those three days I spent sleeping in my trunk really threw me for a loop, I’ll buckle up right now and warm up my slice on the radiator along the way.


Wow that was a hell of a hangover, took me most of the morning to recover… I feel like I might have seemed a bit grumpy or even ungrateful, I was not.

(@webiii1976) Bill thanks for stepping up so quickly with the repairs! It must’ve looked like I wanted to kill you, that was my attempt at a grateful smile, my head was killing me…

(@funruly) Junior! Thanks for plate! This kind of selfless generosity really restores my faith in (non-mutated) mankind! I’ll be paying this forward (and back) one way or another!

(@davide405) Clank, It would be awesome if you find something that can make do as a finger! I’ll obviously pay for your service, even if it does not restore all of my maneuvering skills.

My hangover has cured just in time for the start of our mission, hope I make it back well enough to enjoy some of those cold Heineken’s. I’m already getting thirsty again!

[edit:] Nervous Mike out


I’m not sure what a tardy ass-banana is, but it sounds like it might negatively impact on your SHITGO.