I’m touched, Funruly. I truly am.
“Self-interested cooperation is the basis for all success”
David Falkayn, at your service.
1 Like
1.) Name of vessel: Wildfire
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Fast
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Smoke me a Kipper,
you can call me Ace Rimmer.
Rimmer, Ace Rimmer.
Captain Information
4.) Full Name:Ace Rimmer
5.) Identity Class:
Human
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) Y, Some would say I'm a cyborg in the sack
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? Hit me with the deferred bonus
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? Maximum greasing thanks
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
7 Likes
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Unizone Corporation
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General Services Contract
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Vessel Information *
1.) Name of vessel:Awesomating Overthruster
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
F A S T3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Signed Sealed Delivered
A Series of Baby Bangs
I’mma goin’ home!
Captain Information
4.) Full Name: Rkt88 Edmo
5.) Identity Class:
Space Moose
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N): NO
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? No good deed happens until cash is in hand, now please - hwoaaaaaaaaaaanh!
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
Ƀ.005
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
~-=RKT=-~
6 Likes
Vessel Information
1.) Name of vessel:
The S.O.L. Jr., a division of ConGypsCo
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Durable
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Ten years spent running
satellite’s higher functions.
Notary public.
Captain Information
4.) Full Name:
Mrs. Richard Basehart
5.) Identity Class:
Uhhh, Space Lizard? I guess my umbilicus is pretty lizard-like.
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum?
Probably!
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
Oh, I can wait.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
No grease for me, thanks!
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
OK
8 Likes
you do seem a bit scaly though
1 Like
But…space is time…
1 Like
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Vessel Information *
1.) “Matango’s Revenge”
2.) Durable
3.) She’s a spore powered / Interstellar garbage scow / sauteed in butter.
Captain Information
4.) Full Name: Arora Stamets
5.) Identity Class: Space Lobster
6.) Cyborg Spectrum: No
Signing Bonus
7.) Ƀ.030 deferred bonus
8.) Zero (0)
By submitting this application document to the Unizone Corporation, you agree to serve faithfully under the Terms and Conditions of our Endless User License Agreement.
Beautiful sharpie illustration here. I’m too new to post images. 
6 Likes
@funruly Black Lectroids are Libertarian Space Marshalls - you need a RED Lectroid for the Marxist Opportunist spot.
2 Likes
everybody need see Buckaroo!
4 Likes
A closer reading of the instructions led me to believe I might need a sharpie® drawing to get the bonus:
7 Likes
Vessel Information
1.) Name of vessel: SLS Say Monkey
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Durable
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
A little of this,
A fair amount of that and
Lots of the other
Captain Information
4.) Full Name: Captain Information… but you knew that already. Interesting.
5.) Identity Class: Space Lobster
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) Of course not. All these legs are my own.
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus? Immediately. Let’s get this party started.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase? We space lobsters don’t believe in half measures. All in.
5 Likes
Harumph.
Given that yous a Space Moose, I guess you deserve forgiveness for not knowing the finer history of Earth-That-Was.
Listen, calf, the Black Lectroids showed such strong solidarity in defense of their homeworld that they were willing to commit genocide on all humans by detonating nukes. That puts them on the same side as Rooskies.
To their credit, the Black Lectroids were willing to let the Hong Kong Cavileers do their dirty work, and that’s as opportunistic as it comes.
Now, them Red Lectroids…Evil. Pure and simple.
3 Likes
Your sympathies for your homeworld are clouding your economic analysis. Certainly it was the humans who free’d the red lectroids and were given a reasonable solution and timeline for cleaning up that mess by the black lectroids. The actors who created the problem are responsible for the cost in pure libertarian fashion. A little preventative genocide in order to stop a far greater menace is clearly a greater good.
That clip does bring to light a new theory that Tony Soprano whose escapades were duly enshrined in the miserable annals of the earth-that-was may have been part of a remaining rogue pod of red lectroids originally targetted by the black lectroid space force.
As for calling me a calf; I’ve shed more racks than you’ve changed space diapers.
4 Likes
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Vessel Information *
1.) Name of vessel:Flying Chemex___________________
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship:
Lucky3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
Coffee making
For you
And the borgs
Captain Information
4.) Full Name:_Lorem Ipsum____________________
5.) Identity Class: Human
[Human, Space Lizard, Space Lobster, Space Moose]
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N) y
Signing Bonus
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
Wait.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
30%
8 Likes
Part of many crews
Signed on to many a ship
Only Jacques remains
The Entropy, the last operating ship of the Entropy-class scout cruisers, now eponymous with its class. While normally requiring a 78-person crew to operate, the former captain and chief engineer built a card based command interface called TAROT which allows full operation of the ship (if somewhat poorly) from a single console. This proved fortuitous, as the first test of the TAROT system ended in a disaster that left all of the crew, save third mate Jacques, dead or lost in space.
The Entropy-class itself, and the Entropy in particular, have a wide-spread reputation in the galaxy for being, despite being reasonably well built, extremely unlucky.
“Captain” Jacques Malchance: Human, Unaugmented
Deferred bonus: cannot afford any grease.
9 Likes
Only 2 things EVER threatened crossing the Northern Border of Pax Americana.
Socialized Medicine. And Moose.
7 Likes
Well, our terran branch did have those Canadians fooled, eh?
2 Likes
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Unizone Corporation
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General Services Contract
* Vessel Information *
1.) Name of vessel:_USSS Rustbucket______
2.) Please select the attribute that best describes your ship: Decrepit
3.) Description of previous work experience in haiku:
I haven't worked in haiku before, but have over 73 years experience in space limericks. I am a quick study, however, and willing to learn.
*Captain Information*
4.) Full Name:_Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker_____________
5.) Identity Class:
Space sLobster
6.) Are you over 20% on the cyborg spectrum (Y/N)
Y, I'm a quarter cyborg on my father's side.
*Signing Bonus*
7.) Would you like to immediately receive your signing bonus of Ƀ.015 (Space Bits) now or would you like to wait and receive Ƀ.030 as a deferred bonus?
I'll take my bonus in the form of stellar grog.
8.) How much, if any, of your signing bonus should be applied to greasing the random number generator during the character creation phase?
However much I haven't consumed by the time we get to that part of the game.
... And you get a re-roll on your lowest stat if you include a sharpie sketch of your spaceship.
9 Likes
