I don’t know what the terms are, but I like the cut of your jib. I’ll loan you b45.
4 Likes
Kick-ass! Thanks!
What’s your interest rate for payback?
1 Like
b50 for Mission 2 Nebulous
Hello, Ella, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my beloved revolutionary sweetheart!
@old - thankee kindly, gentle being! Would you care to wear these magnet boots until such time as repayment is achieved? Or perhaps you’d Carter to join me for a smoker?
2 Likes
Browf: “Just a reminder the Cosmosword needs 82b to come out the otherside with 200b. Lend us 82b and we’ll give you back 100b: 50b straight after this mission, 50b the next mission.”
“If you can lend us a part of this, we’ll pay you back pro rata.”
2 Likes
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| SLS Say Monkey | 23/96 | 24 | 29 | 23 | 23 | 25 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
The SLS Say Monkey sputters into the Unizone Service Bay in a cloud of purplish black smoke. Captain Information staggers from the cockpit, slightly dazed but proudly sporting a novelty bow tie.
Looks like this Unizone “freelancer” gig is going to come to a nasty end and soon. Might as well make maximum use of their credit facility while I can…
Purchases (all on Unizone Partner Credit)
b20 - Nano Patch Goop / Bucket (25 HP)
b20 - Nano Patch Goop / Bucket (25 HP)
b20 - Nano Patch Goop / Bucket (25 HP)
b20 - Unizone Cloaking Device (2 ST)
b20 - Unizone Cloaking Device (2 ST)
One thing’s for sure, I’m not hiring my ship out as a target drone for Nilah and her crew again, and definitely not for a measly b5. There’s something odd going on in that Unizone factory and I intended to find out what.
Let’s hope Falkayn comes through with the loan repayment he’s promised so I can afford the mission fee.
Mission
b40 - Mission 3 - Cube Farm
In the meantime I’d better get a bucket and swab out the cargo hold again. That lingering sandfish bouquet is starting to make me feel spacesick.
8 Likes
@uphill transfer b36.0 as repayment for debt and interest
I will restate this again in final mission orders
2 Likes
Fantastic, thank you!
COMMUNITY BANKING UPDATE
Three loans have been arranged:
Captain Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker of the USSS Rustbucket loaned b45.0 to Captin Savaric Tubertus et al. of the Not Worthy
Captain Natasha Fatale of the Audacious Blip loaned b40.6 Captain Avery Waters of the Smiling Dingo
Captain Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker of the USSS Rustbucket loaned b5.0 to CaptinMrs. Richard Basehart of the The S.O.L. Jr.
Four captains have come forward to bring the community pool up to b85. The community fund has agreed on a principle for lending: the greatest good for the greatest number, which is being interpreted as preferring several small loans to few big ones.
@messana Lazlo ‘Scuttle’ Deepwalker pledged b10.0
@davide405 Natasha Fatale pledged b50.0
I have pledged b10
@PromptedInk Captain Sorbet Wooster has agreed to contribute b15.0
Captains currently seeking assistance:
Capt. Watford Gap requests b18.0
Capt. Rkt88 Edmo [requested an unspecified amount, interpreted as b39.0] 7
Capt. Mamma “Luckybeard” Aiuto requests b40.0
Capt. Quirky Kumquat requests b100.0
Captains who SHOULD seek assistance
@maxd Captin Ace Rimmer of the Wildfire needs b3.9
@deisum Captain Lucy Best Gorilla Truck With Beer needs b5.7
@GlennF Hashtag T. Weeter of the Startlingly Improbable b10.8
@Ratel Capt. Jacques Malchance of The Entropy b17.0
The community pool will operate by consensus, and therefore slowly. Best if you can arrange your own loan directly.
So captains have time to act, I propose that we announce the loans Thursday afternoon.
Information is provided on a “best efforts” basis. Any and all corrections and updates appreciated
Self-Interested Cooperation is the basis for all success
4 Likes
Any other lenders wishing to throw in with Slaal so he doesn’t have to tell me no? I’d like to run the 50bit mission 2, but need 49.3 to get there, have cask will drink
bUrrrrrp
Aboard the Inflatable Pub, the batwing doors creak wide from the airlock hatch. The battered bionic Lizard, bearing the equally-battered G5265 hexatone starship with the Badass Inter-Galactic Supremacy Bridge Yardarm gleaming at a cocky angle, enters the Designated Intoxicant Dispensary Area.
Pressing the Intercom button atop his helmet, he initiates a live holo-simulcast to Duck’s Pond, mostly for the hell of it, since they stopped carrying his favorite flavor of Ganymede’s Tropical Coolant. Still, he wants a wide audience. He pauses to drop a hat at his feet, remembers he owns no hat, sighs mechanically, and dumps out the contents of the lobsters’ spittoon for the purpose. Even those damned Unizone-printed StarBit notes are machine-washable, after all.
How 'bout that. It’s Open Mic night at the Inflatable.
Sir Galaxy holds his starship like a freshly smothered infant, then drags a manipulator claw over the hexatonic resonance array in a surprisingly tuneful manner.
“Ahem.”
Ahoy, Ignoble Calumnie! Be Cap’n Mack aboard?
I hear he’s back from jury duty, two bits more to hoard.
The geezer ran the Hot Pockets to famished engineers,
And flashes to the Speed Patrol his trademark yellowed sneers.
I hope he’s got some bits to share with this old bluesy Lizard.
He looks like we might be related, crusty ancient gizzard,
And I have no doubt his cloaca’s windy as a blizzard,
But when it comes to hauling ass, ol’ Mackey’s just a wizard.
I hailed A Certain Moral Flexibility just now,
And shot a cask of high-grade coolant just across her bow.
Belatedly it hit me that her Captain Watford Gap
Might be belowdecks in his cabin workin’ on a nap.
My XO thinks my gesture misinterpreted will be,
That bowshots will result in a returned missile or three,
But ancient is the custom of libations poured or burnt
In hopes of some financial largesse offered in returnt.
O, Mamma, Mamma, Mamma on the Dabohaze (and Beard),
Is by the Unizone and I.C.U.P. rightly feared.
We’re not sure why the crew so closely matches their big boss
In face and eyewear, temperament, but we don’t give a toss.
Our interest lies in their performance during Mission Three
When they and we took on Nilah and chased her speedily
And damn near caught that slipp’ry skink inside a steel bucket!
Until—oh, wait… Beard’s only got four point three StarBits. Fuck it.
Heave to alongside the fair ship of Everest Fullerton.
The YOLO Mk 2 is her name, her superstructure’s hurtin’.
Perhaps the Denture might be helpful to the YOLO’s skipper
Since rumor has it Fullerton’s a green and youthful nipper.
But once aboard I note the playlist on the bridge Jukebot
And realize young Fullerton is older (quite a lot).
As 80s tunes regale my ears I drop my sly pretext,
And hope the old guy spares a bit or three to help me next.
The Smiling Dingo’s my next stop; it’s helmed by Avery Waters,
Who’s rumored to be one of Orion’s bloodthirstiest daughters.
But mayhap in my scaly eyes she’ll sense a kindred soul,
And be inclined to subsidize my climb out of the hole.
I’ll make it worth her while, and with payback all financial.
When we combine our forces, you see we have Grit substantial.
A force to reckon with! A fearsome terror to the nation!
A team—oh, wait… she’s almost broke as I am. God-damnation!
I note that David Falkayn’s flush aboard the Muddlin’ Through,
So I would be remiss if I did not hit him up, too.
But I draw up outside his hatch and pause before I knock
For I, like Hedwig, have no urge to go off all half-cock.
He’s got the cash! He speaks of loans! Encourages teamwork!
He’s all about cooperation! He’s no selfish jerk!
And yet can I, proud Space Lizard, approach him, hat in hand,
And grovel for a handout? It turns out that, yes, I can.
The reptile is an independent, solitary beast,
Who cares for friends and coworkers and kin not in the least.
Its evolution through millennia has driven out
The urge to seek assistance, or help anybody out.
So Communists and mooses (even really sexy ones)
Are antithetical to Lizard tastes, the story runs.
And yet, Natasha runs a very profitable ship!
So I shall bow and ask for alms aboard Audacious Blip.
As Sir Galaxy lets the last note ring out to silence, he thinks he hears the beginning of slow applause down at the back of the bar. Honest mistake: lobster-retching sounds like clapping during molting season.
Our hero attaches a translucent plastic collar around his neck as he sidles off the stage, a collar of unmistakably Arcturan construction.
The Pleiades 360 is an unusual craft,
Constructed of plastic and steel, no larger than a raft.
But Captain Phuong, new to deep space, has made a mighty start
With Grit to spare, raw firepower, and a gift for pixel art.
She’s broke like me, as tends to be the case with Gritty ships,
So I will not waste time with mere fundraising on my lips.
We’re tough. We’re bold. You’re young, I’m old. So I propose we meet.
If this round pays out poorly, let’s form us a pirate fleet.
The Somewhat Broken Heart is skippered by my distant cousin:
Ol’ Quirky Kumquat, last surviving egg of Aunt’s last dozen.
Another broke-ass bastard who is rolling in raw Grit,
His toothy grin conceals a heart that won’t take any shit.
Perhaps it’s my imagination running off with me
But I think we could go far next round, just we Gritty three.
If we can’t turn a profit by legitimate commerce,
Let’s hoist the Jolly Raptor and descend on them… or worse.
15 Likes
the community banking fund is a little unclear what you’re asking for. Could you please be a little more specific?
Thanks.
-Falkayn
A note to highly indebted captains:
The community bank will be remitting cash directly to Ella to support MIssion 2 or MIssion 3. Thus, you don’t need to clear your unizone debt if you can arrange financing. While the board has not taken a vote, I will recommend against providing loans to those seeking Mission 4.
@newliminted Capt. Newlireconstructed The ISS My Daughter Drew This
@miasm Capt. A̲n̲t̲o̲n̲y̲ M̲c̲G̲o̲v̲e̲ rn The Foil
@penguinchris Capt. PHUONG_N Pleiades 360
@Felipe_Budinich Capt. Takashi Hofmann Kanji
@DreamboatSkanky Capt. Quirky Kumquat Somewhat Broken Heart
@Donald_Petersen Capt. Sssir Galaxxxy Carcinogenic Denture
@rkt88edmo Rkt88 Capt. Edmo Awesomating Overthruster
@SteampunkBanana Capt. Mamma “Luckybeard” Aiuto Dabohaze
@Glutnix Browf Capt. Clamphoof Cosmosword
2 Likes
OthEr contRacTs Are ConTinUIng to be drawn up
burp
All I wanna do is scrape up the 50 bits so I can fly mission 2, but I have no firm committed amounts yet, so I am having trouble making a clear request
It isn’t the honeywine
rEalLy
2 Likes
“Encore! Encore!”
7 Likes
I will, yes indeedy. But those are time-intensive! 
3 Likes
Investing my monies this round isn’t as trivial a decision as it seemed last time around…
I hate to breach a contract, even one as badly abusive as the one I’m in now with Unizone, so despite the intense financial and peer pressure to eschew mission 1, I’m still debating it. On the other hand, I’d love to have their proprietary junk out of my ship (and body), contract or no. Ella’s service sounds almost too good to be true though. Do I know what she would be putting in in exchange? Everyone is trying to use others, that’s a societal given. I just like to know how I’m being used, and my lobster brain hasn’t been enhanced enough to always truly understand the subtleties of such arrangements. Still, given what I’ve gleaned of Unizone’s use of me and mine, I’m probably better off with the devil I don’t know…
Mission 3 seems like the best value as far as Ella’s options go, and allows me to really understand my previous employer. However, in order to survive that mission I need one, probably two, and perhaps even three sets of hull repairs. If I have faith in my rig and only get two, that brings my bill to b90 of the b147.8 of cash I have on hand.
My remaining b57.8 I would spend on to upgrade my ship to ensure that my damages are minimized on my mission, but I would be a cold lobster indeed to not be moved by the pleas of my fellow captains.
As such, I have a proposal after noticing an interesting tidbit in the regulations a bit earlier:
So, instead of buying my upgrades from Ella, who certainly doesn’t need the money (have you seen her mark-up!?), I’d happily purchase parts from my fellow captains. Ella’s prices are b6.25 per fire power and double that for shields and luck. Since shields and fire power are of the same value to me in my mission, I would pay b6.25 for either of those, but would spend b9 for any stealth one might be willing to live without as that holds greater chance of a more glorious mission success.
My offer is, of course, capped at my total cash on hand, b57.8 and the limits on only transferring 4 points of each resource from any one ship.
Is this proposal helpful, @rkt88edmo? I know it would be hard to part with any small piece of the Awesomating Overthruster, but I thought this might be the “self-interested cooperation” solution that Falkayn has been preaching about: you need bits, and I am looking for upgrades to make sure I continue in my ability to make StarBits. I would certainly rather invest in my ship than a community bank whose mechanics I’m not sure I understand and when I’m not even sure who is overseeing the fund.
My offer isn’t limited to Rkt88, so if any other captain has interest in my proposal, let me know.
On an additional note of some grave consequence to my estate, I would like to take this moment to prepare a will and testament, may it not be my last. Should I perish, I would like to grant my StarBits and salvage rights to @rkt88edmo, so that he may continue his quest (like I, in my time) to be the fastest transport in this system. Should he have also perished, I bequeath such rights to @Donald_Petersen, that he may play a very fast song in my memory. In the terrible event that we all three are done in, send the remains of my estate to the haberdasher. He looks like one to stir up trouble and a system without the three of us is certainly in need of some of that!
8 Likes
[an audience member whistles and throws something on the stage]
10 Likes
@messana
@bizmail_public
@PromptedInk
Proposed by-laws for community banking: These by-laws would need to be agreed to by full consensus
Amended Definition: Until further notice a “micro-loan” is <= b10.0
The interest rate shall be 20% simple, no fee.
The “board of directors” is a round table consisting of each captain who has contributed to the pool.
A micro-loan can be approved by any two members of the board.
