Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Round 5 - Severance

im in ur community bank payin my d00z

give @davide405 b20


On the plus side, we could be seeing Howard the Duck (Gerber-version, not Lucas-version).

On the down side, you’ll have to deal with more superheroes.

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Would you prefer a separate account for the community bank?


I’ll just maintain the open books policy and track it here on a continuously updated basis; should be fine as long as we don’t start dealing in derivative :heavy_dollar_sign: :wink:


What’s wrong with sequels?


Community Banking Ledger

The following loan payments are due to the Community Bank.

Please remit to @davide405 Natasha Fatale at your earliest convenience.

b1.8 @penguinchris PHUONG_N of the Pleiades 360
b9.5 @rkt88edmo Rkt88 Edmo Awesomating Overthruster
b18.7 @inqydesu Horatio Alger Pluck
b18.7 @RatelJacques Malchance The Entropy

Even if you plan to ask the community bank for a new loan this round, please pay back you loan so that we (1) know you are an honorable credit risk and (2) can best balance the needs of the community.

@daneel Captain Watford Gap of the Certain Moral Flexibility owed b18.3. Captain Gap has Paid in Full, plus a b1.7 contribution Thank you, Captain Gap.

There are also private loans that also should be settled, but as those are private, the Community Bank is not involved beyond noting that @DreamboatSkanky @gwwar have already repayed their loans.


Round 5 - Severance

Unizone regional headquarters, an adhoc nest of frigates and container barges buzzing with cubical shipping drones.

Mr. Alces: It’s time to cut loose the locals. We’re ready for phase three.

Mr. Champ: I think you mean phase two, sir.


Mr. Champ lies dead on the floor. Mr. Chum, a nearly identical hodgepodge of electronics and cloned parts, steps over his fallen brethern and cautiously continues the briefing.

Mr. Alces: Re-label the phases, commence phase three.

Mr. Chum: Very well, sir. And the parts for partners program? A partner ship self-detonated in the parts shop. We think it may have been a protest.

Mr. Alces: Scrap the program. Put out a press release saying we destroyed the ship intentionally and get collections on any ship who owes us more than fifty starBits.

@penguinchris, @rkt88edmo, @uphill, @glutnix, @newliminted, @Felipe_Budinich will be pursued this round by the Unizone Collections Drones. You can pay them the amount due or you can try to shoot them down (10-60 Based on FP, SH & EN with a chance to evade based on LK & ST). For the purposes of this turn, consider your balance 0. Any money you receive from other ships can be used to shop or buy missions.


Ella’s Shipping Depot

Greetings. I am Ella. I thank you for working with me. Please enjoy shopping at our parts store if you have time before your mission begins.

Ella’s Backwater Boutique

  • b5 - Hull Density Adjustment (1 MaxHP / 1 HP)
  • b20 - Hull Repairs (10 HP)
  • b20 - Glopper Gun (2 FP)
  • b50 - Billiken (8 LK)
  • b30 - Hull Plating (4 SH)
  • b20 - Scan Scrambler (2 ST)
  • b30 - Machine That Goes Bing (2 EN)

Mission 1 - Long Haul
A courier mission. You’ll have to leave right away without time to shop or install parts.

Mission Cost: b100
Restrictions: This mission is open to any ship except those blacklisted from Ella’s
Rewards if Successful: b400, ???
Risks: 5 x Asteroids (3-7 HP based on SH & EN), Pirates (100-(ST+LK))% chance (30-50 Damage based on SH, FP & EN)

Mission 2 - Hats, Hats, Hats
I don’t understand why Mondo needs all these hat boxes. It doesn’t seem like he sells a ton of hats. I guess he’s just building inventory.

Mission Cost: b10
Restrictions: This mission is open to any ship except those blacklisted from Ella’s
Rewards if Successful: b80
Risks: 1 x Asteroids (3-7 HP based on SH & EN)

Mission 3 - Cube Root
Ella needs more observers around the Unizone cube farm. This time she’ll be sending you in the guise of local sand fish merchants.

Mission Cost: b50
Restrictions: This mission is open to any ship except those blacklisted from Ella’s
Rewards if Successful: b150
Risks: 2 x Unizone Security Drones (100-(ST+LK))% chance (10-40 Damage based on SH, FP & EN), (100-LK)% chance of sand fish stinking up your ship.

Nilah’s Crew:

Nilah stomps into Duck’s Pond with a sour face.

Nilah: I’m tired of shooting at your slow, ugly ships anyhow. Cube drones? These Unizone fragtools are really clipping me off. Come with us if you like, I’m going shopping.

Mission 4 - A Pirating We Go
Join Nilah in popping shipping drones and harvesting their contents. Please let me know how many drones you want to chase.

Mission Cost: b0
Restrictions: This mission is open to any ship.
Rewards if Successful: b40 per drone and chance of items based on luck.
Risks: Each Unizone Shipping Drone (10-20 Damage based on SH, FP & EN) with chance to dodge based on LK & ST.

Please Note: You should include any purchases from The Royal Bowler in your mission selection summaries.

Please Also Note: I very very much appreciate clear mission selection and shopping summaries.

Please Also Also Note: We’re taking a break next week. I’m at Emerald City Comic Con and won’t have time to update the game while on the road. Anyone in the Seattle area is welcome to drop by and deliver mission selections in person for +1 GRIT. Booth 106.

Blacklisted at Ella's.

Ah, Ella. I know you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

What I don’t yet understand, is why violate the code? You know, shipping the goods in suitable containers so as to not attract unwarranted attention.

Don’tcha remember our old saying, “Hot Goods go in Hot Pockets.” Or pizza roll boxes, though sadly those seem to be out of fashion these days.


So if this is what being dead is like, it is not that much worse than being in an office job where I wear a tie each day. Each day tying the tie will kill me a little more.

Also not sure how I could be dead I pressed:
up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start at the beginning.


I never asked for this, thank you kindly.

These invisibility cloaking modules smell like they came from Hogwart’s Prime.

  • give 4ST back to @daneel
  • 0b | Mission 4 A Pirate Party We Will Vote: Zero (0) Drones Please

Yes, of course I know that. No sense taking damage when I’m persona non grata from the only place that offers repairs. Old Mackey is as seasoned as they fucking come and of course I…hey, now you decide to talk?

Mackey stops short. The voice is coming from the corner of cargo bay 2 of the IGNOBLE CALUMNIE, where he kicked the hatbox after NOT FINDING A HAT CONTAINED THEREIN.

Detecting an enclosure to her liking, and finding the humming comforting, the chicken has been roosting on the crystal (1).

Captain MacMichael turns slowy to face the corner.

(1) What, you [forgot about the chicken][1]?
[1]: Badass Space Dragon - Duck's Pond


Amazing Moral Flexibility knock-down sale. First to see will buy!

Offering 4:4 exchanges - 4 FP, 4 EN and 4 SH must go, for the low, low price of 4 ST each.

Hurry! This offer won’t last long!


give @davide405 b20 (b18.7 repayment plus “transaction fee”).

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Early Mission Analysis

Assuming b2.0 to repair 1 HP of damage, and the average ship stat of 25:

Mission 1. 25 likely damage from asteroids, roughly 50% change of 40 points of damage from Pirates. Likely average net payout of about b250.

Only take if you have at least 60 HP, and preferably more. The massive payout makes you a good candidate for a Community Bank loan if your ship has enough HP and you’ve been a contributing member of the community: @daneel @rkt88edmo @bizmail_public

Mission 2 a good, low cost/ low damage / low reward mission. Minimal damage, average likely net payout of b60.

Mission 3 I assume a roughly 50% chance of 2 drones, 50% chance of no drones, then each drone gives 10-40 Damage. (is that right, @patrace ?)

Roughly 25% chance of no drones, 50% chance of one drone with likely damage of 25 HP, and 25% chance of two drones with likely damage of 50 HP, for an average likely net payout of b50.0

Mission 4 Average damage of 15 per drone gives an average likely net payout of b10 per drone.

Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive

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Fantastic. Have a great time in Seattle.

When will the missions lock?




The stealth is rolled against each drone. You could hit none, one or both.


@codinghorror Please lock this thread on Monday, March 30th at 10am AKST (11am PST). Thanks!


@patrace Clarification please: do these six captains need to immediately reduce their Unizone credit balance to -b50.0, or to b0.0, to call off the Unizone Collection Drones?



They need to pay the full amount owed to Unizone if they want the drones called off.


give @old 45

give @daneel 4ST

Beyond that, this old space-bee is pondering, pondering, his mind is a-buzzing. If you listen closely, you can almost hear it, like hold-muzak from someone else’s elevator. If you look closely, you can actually see the molten wax dripping from his ears.

Although that may have more to do with matters of hygiene than excess mentation.