+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| SLS Say Monkey | 50/96 | 24 | 29 | 23 | 31 | 25 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
With the Unizone Collections Drones on my tail and only 50HP left, it’s pretty much a coin toss as to whether the SLS Say Monkey will survive into the next round.
Unless. Unless the community can come to my aid with a loan.
To all board members of the community bank as well as any independent investors, here’s my proposal:
With a loan of just b50 I would pay for:
b40 Hull repairs (x2)
b10 Mission Cost for mission 2
And this guarantees a return since even if I take maximum damage from the Debt-Bots and the asteroid I’d still come out alive and able to repay the loan with that sweet b80 mission reward.
A smaller loan of b30 or even just b10 would also allow me to take Mission 2, but without making repairs, there’s a significant chance I won’t be around to make the repayment.
Given the risk inherent in this plan, I’ll be happy to grant the salvage rights to my vessel to my creditor(s)
FROM: QUIRKY KUMQUAT, CAPTAIN, THE SOMEWHAT BROKEN HEART.
RE: OFFICE OF CRAZY IDEAS
+++BEGIN TRANSMISSION+++
Now, hear me out.
Suppose, just suppose, that instead of engaging in ANY mission this Round, we all were to declare ourselves as flying shotgun (as it were) for our indebted captains, and basically run interference for them, popping off any pesky Unizone drones that might have the notion of causing bother. More of us than them, I think.
Such a show of unity might well send a strong message to Unizone, and, perhaps Ella, too.
Looking at this idea through The Falkayn Filter:
Enjoy Today? Check! Make Money? Not really. But there might be some good ROI downstream. Stay Alive? Well, maybe more of us than would otherwise.
@Felipe_Budinich I’m signing on to escort the Kanji in whatever mission her Captain chooses. When the drones come, I’m putting my firepower on the drones chasing the Kanji first. If they are destroyed and I survive, I will fight alongside the Kanji against whatever threats she faces, defending myself against my own drones as a secondary priority.
Is it wrong, or is he on to a whole new field of mathematics?
This could explain what we all keep observing about the fluctuations in Unizone summaries, I.A.N. Bank transfers, and when Browf vanished from our sensors.
Maybe Bistromath isn’t just the lastest crackpot theory since that string nonsense.
More importantly, this could explain my tab at The Inflatable Pub.
That said - I’d encourage all captains currently facing Unizone action to request funding to pay for Mission 2 and enough repairs to survive - 67HP worst case, but median is more like 40. Safe, easy, affordable.
---Secure Message---
From: XO@smilingdingo.doge
To: crew@smilingdingo.doge
First, DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS MESSAGE.
Crew, brave volunteers are desperately distracting Captain Avery Waters at Duck Pond (gods help them), while the rest of engineering attempts to perform emergency repairs. We already lost two to the hull breech. Let that be a lesson to check your gear, and read up on the frakking manuals.
I out of self preservation for me, this crew, this ship and Captain, do make the decision to repair while she's at the bar. Our Captain does not have a death wish, but taking a second soft mission will not go well. The Waters are certainly not couriers.
Remember, our Captain is the best at hunting bounties, This is why you signed on. However, she loathes doing anything else that doesn't involve blood or a someone else's hull spewing atmosphere. Crew, you are lucky she hates being in debt even more than not being able to personally fire the lasers.
If this hadn't occured to you yet, do not mention any mission offers to the Captain. You will be first to leave the airdock. I guarantee it.
Your orders are as follows:
Those of you on shore leave, distract the Captain until we're not leaking atmosphere.
The rest will repair the Smiling Dingo as quickly as possible, and send off that shipment of hats.
And by the gods. PLEASE. Do not mention hats to the Captain. I repeat, do not mention hats to the Captain. YOU WILL REGRET IT.
Good Luck.
Your XO
As XO, Emergency Repair Orders are as follows:
150b (balance)
------------------------------------
-50b given to @davide405 (repayment)
-60b Hull Repairs x 3
-30b Hull Plating x 1
-10b Mission 2 Hats
give 4 ST to @daneel
+4 FP from @daneel
I can tell I am truly dead now. Not only did I remember to put making a mission selection on my chronometer reminder device for today’s mid feeding time portal @patrace even extended the mission a week. Yup, I am dead. I wonder if I can sell my spaceship to pay for my funeral.
My request is to be sent into the stars to haunt any and all planets.
Well, all the maths suggests that I should go delivering hats, but it seems like lots of people are already doing that, and since I’ve gone and made the Moral Flexibility all stealthy-like, it’d be a shame not to try it out, so back to the cube farm we go.
Wooster stares out into the parking lot just outside the Duck’s Pond. He sighed as he found his ship with a huge crack across the hull–more importantly straight across where the elasto-stapled Unizone logo would be if not for those perimeter drones.
“Tacky,” he says, and returns to an article on prosthetic textiles and brass plating.
His robot projects the Color Bomb’s explosion over the table–on repeat and in slow motion. Wooster couldn’t help but call it, “Beautiful,” and create a schematic for a technicolor blazer with the stripes weaving from collar to waist. One for the festive space lobster, a thespian archivist…
…or maybe Mondo. Wooster thought that he might know more about the Charybdis fashion landscape.
Well, that, Pennywhistle, is what I’d call an unnecessary close call. I think I may need to recalibrate your chronometer so I don’t do something so unplanned again. First, though, you could sure use some patching up.
Anyway, Whistle you daft old fool, we did well enough last time, so I’d wager we should give that Unizone Cube Farm another glance, eh? But this time, properly equipped.
If somehow surviving that mess don’t give me some respect for life and community, I don’t know what will. In that spirit, then, let’s get in on this Community Bank thing.
