"Browf understands. There’s too much hurt and not enough money to go around. We’ll make do with b50 from the community bank.
“Thank you, @old Captain Zaphod Tiberius Skywalker! There is much honour and tradition in your name. Your timely loan is much appreciated. The plan is to do mission 4, to turn 3~4 drones into ~b160, paying back loans at 10% next round.”
Browf: “Dakota, we’re back in business baby!”
Dakota: “That’s excellent! Can you still pay me my wages?”
To: Ella
Subject: Order Changes
[Message Begins]
I would like to make the following changes to the order I placed two days ago. First one is to add one Billiken. The second, take off the Scan Scramblers and replace those with 2 Machines That Go Bing. I'm still in a daze after infiltrating the Unizone Factory and had some glitches after their drones shot at me. My neuro-mechanic's en route to the Duck's Pond as I write allowing me make the deliveries as scheduled.
Please pass this message over to Mondo and let him know that I'd like to discuss all things fashion, mano-a-mano.
I look forward to working with you again. Godspeed.
Capt. Sorbet Wooster (GSB)
--Beware of the Sweater--
[Message Ends]
Updated Orders
Sign Up: Mission 2 (b10)
Purchases
3 Hull Repairs (b60)
1 Billiken (b50)
2 Machines That Go Bing (b60)
Donations
b16 to Capt. Falkayn (@bizmail_public) for the Community Bank
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| SLS Say Monkey | 50/96 | 24 | 29 | 23 | 31 | 25 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Captain Information lurches atop a rickety ladder angled against the side of the Say Monkey. With a bucket of hyper suds on one claw and a squealing spongerat in the other, he grumbles to himself as he tries to scrub away the bulls-eye “target drone” designation some wag has stenciled onto the ship’s hull.
This time we’re signing on for a nice, quiet delivery job. With a little luck we’ll slip past those damn Unizone drones and even make a bit of money.
Mission selection and repairs
+b50 - loan from @bizmail_public (thank you community bank)
-b20 - Hull Repairs (10 HP)
-b20 - Hull Repairs (10 HP)
-b10 - Mission 2, Hats, Hats, Hats (more like “Hats”, “Hats”, “Hats” if you ask me)
[The outer hatch of the Didn’t See That Coming skitters across the deck of Bay 28, violently dismantled by the sudden application of an Emergency BreachKit™. Captain Lazlo emerges from the smoke-filled opening, cursing in an obscure dialect of Space Lobster.]
“Finally. Been trying to get this crag-blasted hatch open for days, but the engineers said it was fused. Guess they musta known what they were talkin’ about. Right! What inna Twelve Hells have we missed while…”
[A Bureaucratbot skitters up to Captain Lazlo and unceremoniously dumps kilograms of actual physical output media on the hapless lobster.]
“Hell of the Infinite Predators! I got a bit to catch up on here, spacers. I’ll be caught up before the end of the cycle, an’ wanna give my full attention to both the present and the future.”
“Oy! Quirky! Good ta see ye made it back in a finite number of pieces! An’ boy these cocktails yer crew keeps buyin’ - these, whaddyacall, Black Flag Specials? Foosh! Talk about packin’ a fine punch.”
“Anyway, what I means ta be sayin’ is: glad ya came out the other side in one piece and I appreciate ya respectin’ the tradition. I consider us square an’ count ya a proper wingmate. Here’s to stickin’ it to Unizone. Now whaddya say we set up a claw-wrasslin’ tournament between the two crews and you an’ I place some utterly forgettable side bets? Give the kids a bit of room ta celebrate and let 'em know things are gonna be alright?”
[Lazlo calls over a small handful of crewmembers from the Somewhat Broken Heart and the Didn’t See That Coming to compete in time-honored displays of strength and bravado]
“I’ll tell ya - I’d always heard that only half of what ya hear about a space lizard is true, an’ now I know which half it is. It’s the half what talks about all that’s right in the galaxy. That particular gesture brings a strange warmth to these cold hearts, an’ the crew an’ I appreciate what you’ve done today, spazio compagno. We are beyond square and into the realm of the octagonal.”
[Lazlo participates in a ritualistic set of claw-gestures with Sssir Galaxy before continuing]
“I’m suspectin’ I’ll be joinin’ ya on that tour de chapeau, but in the meantime, I wanted to say…”
"Mamma Luckybeard! You are well and alive, yes? What glorious follicles! Ha HAH! " [Captain Lazlo clacks multiple claws in an unnerving staccato, whether an expression of glad humor or of sinister intent, it is unclear]
“The donation was made in the spirit of the I.A.N. M. Bank, and I’d be well and satisfied with b50 recompense - 10% rounded down for absurd fractions. If you an’ yer crew feel it’s important to go above and beyond that, well, that’s yer call. Anything extra in either SpaceBits or spare equipment will go a long way towards retrofitting this old bird. But I’m more interested in breaking whatever odds the Unizone execs set on this little knife fight. Show ‘em what for, right? But we all need to be able to take our shot to get there, an’ I know you’re banged up just as bad as I am.”
“An’ ya know? I reckon’ I’m gonna run a hat this round. What’s one more asteroid at this point, right?! HA! Somethin’ in the solar wind tells me to have a little somethin’ extra set aside for the next launch window. Maybe it’s a good time fer a bunch of us to take a quiet run and see what Ella can scare up by way of reinforcements?”
[Even so, Lazlo’s eyestalks glaze over as he loses himself in the late-cycle infocasts celebrating the supernatural potency of ‘The Amazing Billiken!’]
I appreciate the sentiment – but what is the request?
The idea is to get strong enough to take mission 2 and survive the drones.
You currently have 32 HP , FP 41, and 35 SH.
The asteroid cause only 5. hp. The drones, however, will do 10-60. – an average of 35hp.
With a b50 you can do 20 hp of repairs and take mission 2, and have a pretty good chance of surviving.
-b77 | Unizone Debt Drone Call-off Fee
b0, 3 drones | Mission 4 - A Pirating We Go
b5 | Crew Fee, Dakota Hoofington
Projected Mission Payout: b120
Post-Mission Balance: b120
post mission actions:
pay community fund @bizmail_public b55
pay @old b30
pay @SteampunkBanana b7
Projected Balance: b28.
Browf: Whelp, we’ll come out on top at least, maybe even able to afford a good mission. I’m real sorry to see you go, Dakota. You’re welcome to stay on the ship while we do the mission, I just can’t pay you for your services this time.
(updated: now paying Dakota.)
+ *DING* +
+ LOAN RECEIVED FROM CAPTAIN MAMMA AIUTO OF b5 +
Browf: Looks like we can keep you employed a little longer, Dakota!
Let’s see if Hat delivery can endear the Dabohaze to Mondo so we can splash in any of his leftovers. Beard says I look ridiculous without a hat, and while I am used to his coarse language, he has started to wear me down.
I still have b10 lying around if anyone (Browf @Glutnix) wants to pay their workers or something via private loan, otherwise I’ll send it into the bank to help out.
Have you ever thought about watering that thing? It’s looking a little scrawny. There’s this one fellow I knew was having a chin problem, I gave him some royal jelly for the thing, it worked out well enough:
#BEFORE
#AFTER
We also have a variety of car-care, surfboard, depilatory and sex wax products for the discriminating (and discrete) buyer. Inquire within.
Browf: "Friend Mamma and Beard! Thank you so much for your offer of a private loan. We could really use the GRIT. I need b5 to keep Dakota on the crew roster, and to keep the crew roster – it’d be blank otherwise.
I can’t really put another b5 by itself to good use right now. Lend the Cosmosword b5 and we’ll drop b7 back to you next round.
