The painful, complaining strains of the gears and chains of the landing gear of The Somewhat Broken Heart decrease to a creaky calm. Captain Quirky Kumquat unboards, toting a mag-lev carry bag, and looking rather like a reptilian Father Christmas. He hauls his load into Duck’s Pond, drops the bag by the JukeBot, and flicks his visor up with a cavalier flip of his middle claw.
Quirky: Sssss! Thhhh! The unusual, Duck, my ruminant restaunteur. And…. I’ll take the “Buy-One-Get-One-Free-with-Share-of-Mission-Log” discount.
Quirky drops a tablet on the counter’s PayPanel™, and his Mission Log begins to read out on the big monitor between the taxidermied gorlax head and the yellowing pinup of Miss Rigel 7.
Quirky: (Turning to the tavern broadly) So, this happened:
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Mini-Mission: The Wreck of The Hesperus
Mission Background: The Hesperus is a derelict ship in The Big-Ass Asteroid Belt. once belonging to a species of space-faring avians, the Squawkulons. The Squawkulons, despite their horrid name, were great music lovers. Their fabled music drive is rumoured to be intact on the derelict, and its contents a treasure trove of music for every occasion.
Mission Profile: Locate the wreck of the Hesperus. Board Hesperus and liberate the Sqwawkulon Music Drive. Avoid latent security measures. Return to Duck’s Pond with hot licks and phat beats. Upload to Duck’s Pond JukeBot, gain the love and adoration of all.
Mission Log 1.0.0
The Somewhat Broken Heart, captained by space lizard Quirky Kumquat, and The S.O.L. Jr., captained by fellow space lizard Mrs Richard Basehart, leave the spaceport at Duck’s Pond and set a course for Quadrant 5 of the Big-Ass Asteroid Belt, reasoning that even though there should only be four quadrants, a legendary take like The Hesperus wouldn’t likely be in an obvious place. So Q5 it is.
Approaching Big-Ass Asteroid Belt. Sensors (and by sensors, I mean that dinging, chunking sound we hear this side of the forward hull armor) indicate only small-ass asteroids, but boy, there are a lot of them.
Ding! Chunk!
Mission Log 1.1.0
(Quirky Kumquat reporting. My clutch-sister and fellow captain, Mrs Richard Basehart, have gone EVA and boarded the wreck of the Hesperus, and enormous, apparently quasi-organic spacecraft of Sqwawkulon origin. Having entered through what we think is an egg-deploying portal, now held open by the grabblers of The Somewhat Broken Heart, we are now proceeding down a tunnel bearing towards the bow…)
Mission Log: 2.0.0
Quirky Kumquat, Captain, The Somewhat Broken Heart, reporting. Safely aboard with our prize, the Music Drive of the derelict Sqwawkulon vessel, the Hesperus. Setting course for Duck’s Pond.
Plan is to upload the Music Drive to the Duck’s Pond Jukebot, and win the praise and adoration of all for the phat beats and wicked tunes.
Last back buys the drinks, Clutch-Sister!
(OVER)
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Quirky flicks his tongue over the glass of unusual in his hand. He looks at the carry bag. He flicks his tail.
