Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/19/bible-stories-with-u-s-attor.html
Tom the Dancing Bug, IN WHICH Jeff Sessions hosts Bible Stories and tells the tale of Jesus and the holy separation of mother and child.
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How do you say “Arbeit macht Frei” in Spanish?
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trabajo te libera
My high school Spanish got me part way. I had to use the Googles to get the rest. sigh
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The entire Donny Two burgers criminal organization can go fuck themselves.
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Eeww, no.
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At this point the default is to consider any Republican to be complete and utter scum until proven otherwise.
Trump Detention Centers are officially added to Wikipedia’s list of concentration camps
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The stories really write themselves these days.
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Is this the second coming of Positive Christianity?
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Ha! We need these as decals to place in strategic areas near every truck stop and Cracker Barrel in the nation.
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With a cactus. Sideways.
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The single most important thing to remember about fundamentalist Christianity is that the actual words and deeds of Christ don’t really matter, what matters is that to be a good Christian you simply have to believe in the Bible is true and accept Christ as your personal savior. There have even been efforts to claim “camel through the eye of a needle” is not Jesus making a metaphor for “impossible” but a reference to an actual narrow gate that existed in Biblical times where camels could get through with some effort.
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The question is, would Jesus accept them?
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This needs to be a billboard in every state and a printout in every mailbox.
I’m just going to say it flatly there is nothing biblical or just about this.
These people are evil.
These people do not follow Christ.
These people do not understand the Bible.
This is a perversion of religion and human decency.
Someone please stop these people.
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They follow some Biblical figures though.
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I have much more compassion for Jeff Sessions after learning on This Week Tonight that Sessions—and this is true—is so small he can use a raspberry as a hat:
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“Of course He will,” says their positive thinking, “We’re white!”
I’m kicking around an idea for a leaflet that I want to put together and distribute on cars in church parking lots on Sundays.
I got the idea from a rather hateful little screed that was left on our car when I was purchasing a heathen idol at the local mall.
They had changed “What Would Jesus Do?” to “Who Will Jesus Destroy?” and it was advertising one of the TOO MANY churches in the Colorado Springs area.
I just need to flesh it out some more.
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Apparently Methodists are condemning the actions of Methodist Jeff Sessions. Not the official Methodist Church (yet) but the clergy and laity.
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There have even been efforts to claim “camel through the eye of a needle” is not …
It doesn’t change the meaning of the passage, but many scholars today believe that Jesus was not referring to a camel, the animal, but a thick nautical rope also called a camel.
The meaning is perfectly clear either way, but passing a rope through the eye of a needle seems like a less off-the-wall metaphore.
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