Black art student with glue gun mistakenly thought to be dangerous, caused 4-hour lockdown at university


Originally published at:


Sounds like a sticky situation.


In before the following denials:

–He should’ve known better than to walk around with that thing exposed.

–This could’ve happened just as easily to a white guy.

–Better safe than sorry!

–Racism? Come on, the only racists around anymore are the people pointing it out!


Then rumors spread. Suddenly there were two gunmen, and one had committed suicide.

That sounds like a really difficult way to commit suicide. The folks at Colgate aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed, are they?


It couldn’t possibly be because he was a black man spotted by panicky white racists, could it? It must be something way more complicated and less probable, because white people are exempt from Occam’s Razor! /s

Actually, that would be an amazing (albeit incredibly weird) magic superpower. But I can say from experience that we are not exempt from Occam’s Razor, even when it’s like really super ultra inconvenient for us.


i just don’t even know anymore.

At least he wasn’t gunned down by 54 armed tactical officers? I guess?

seriously…when is the space ship coming to take me home.

edit: beat @enkidoodler by a millisecond.


Well, look on the bright side: Mr Art student isn’t dead. Progress by golly, progress!


Well, it was in New York, not the South, so…

Society is a group effort. AKA we broke it we bought it we gotta fix it. No backsies, sorry.


Somebody got to them before they shouted “He’s commin’ right for us!”

So yes… progress.


NO! I have always claimed I am an alien and my people will return for me.


So now the university will issue an apology to the student and start a dialogue on campus to bring students together so they don’t lose their shit over a black artist right?

I’m just kidding, cue the nopology, doubling-down and digging up a mug shot from the time he got arrested for a broken tail-light by Officer McCracker, complete with picture photoshopped to make him look like what white people think is a “thug”.


Time to update The List.

Blinking LEDs
Photography & Video Cameras
Black/Brown Adults and Children
Direct Eye Contact
Peaceful protests
Imaginary Black/Brown People
Rap Battles
Free Speech
Mail Carriers
Disabled People
Drawings of Penises
Two-Dollar Bills
Languages other than English


The appropriate response would be for the art police to beat him up with their glue sticks.


Sigh. WTF? Worse than the student with the katana handled umbrella.


It’s getting longer.


I’m so tired of this shit.


hey HEY now…we all know exactly how dangerous this could have been.

wait for it…


If he’s like most art students I know, a glue gun would be the least dangerous thing about him. He probably also has:
A kinfe
Exacto blades
Blow torch
Dozens of flammable chemicals
Empty glass bottles
(possibly drunk from emptying those bottles)
((probably also a little bit high))
Has his eyes on a plasma cutter, but dang those are expensive


Anyone else read the headline as “A student of the black arts…”?


gum erasers. You ever had someone hum one of those at you full force. They hurt man.