Bread cut lengthwise is good for one weird thing

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/10/30/bread-cut-lengthwise-is-good-f.html

Long grilled cheese.

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My God, it’s Full of Stars!

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tenor

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I understand everything now.

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Looks very difficult to cook evenly. I suppose with a griddle with heating elements distributed evenly, maybe it could be done… Or at least use cookware that conducts heat well (cast iron doesn’t; stainless-clad aluminum would be my choice here).

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“Can I has a grilled-cheese sammich?”

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Long pork” sandwiches?

I’m thinking you could put your fillings/spreads on it and just roll it up to make some kind of pinwheel sandwich.

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Need some Mobius-strip bread.

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The “one weird thing” is to use it as bread.

That is weird.

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Rolled width-wise for the widest possible roll. Filling: Strawberry Jam and Marshmallow fluff. Slice and serve like cake.

May need to be steamed to make it malleable enough to roll without crumbling.

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I just fell down the rabbit hole of videos for the longest sandwich ever made. Just like tallest building, the title changes hands everytime someone decides to throw some money at the “problem”.

I wanted to link to a video of the longest oven, but… just… never mind.

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Long bread like that is used in Québec for a “traditional” loaf at Christmas time. The bread is also sometimes dyed green or red.

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That bread is for canapes, you sillies.

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That’s a MELT you animals

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For even heating, my understanding is that you want the opposite - cast Iron heats more evenly and helps even out ‘cold spots’ from heat sources like burners, when compared to a thinner pan. Otherwise the heat transitions more directly through and you get the hot/cold spots.

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That’s not what Serious Eats says, and I tend to trust them on this stuff:

[C]ast iron is terrible at heating evenly. The thermal conductivity—the measure of a material’s ability to transfer heat from one part to another—is around a third to a quarter that of a material like aluminum. What does this mean? Throw a cast iron skillet on a burner and you end up forming very clear hot spots right on top of where the flames are, while the rest of the pan remains relatively cool.

The main advantage of cast iron is that it has very high volumetric heat capacity, which means that once it’s hot, it stays hot. This is vitally important when searing meat. To really heat cast iron evenly, place it over a burner and let it preheat for at least 10 minutes or so, rotating it every once in a while.

So, you can parlay its high thermal mass into even heat with some work, and that probably makes it better than a super thin cheap aluminum pan - but I’d take something with both thermal mass and high conductivity, like steel-clad aluminum, over cast iron when even heat is required.

Also… just look at the sandwich. It’s got two round brown spots over the burners, and is soft and un-browned everywhere else.

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Huh. Today I learned something. Thanks.

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You’re going to laugh at me… my first thought was “How would they bake a bread that long, without constructing some kind of long oven?”

Then I realized that you could probably do some really, really cool stuff with a conveyer belt pizza oven… but you’d have some interesting problems since the one end would have been baked for hours by the time the other end made it through…

(This is assuming that the record specifies that you can’t splice the bread. If you do it Subway style and just splice bread in every so many feet, that’s really rather boring! :slight_smile: )

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Perfect for a hhhhhhhaaaaaammmmbbbbbuuuuurrrgggggeeeeerrrrrr.

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aahhh, the legendary long cheese sandwich.

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