Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/19/can-a-fart-give-you-coronaviru.html
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Au contraire, a fart is an invaluable social distancing tool.
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I’m wearing pants and farting right now!
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Silly English people, running about knees bent…I fart in your general direction!
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I’ve been doing it for about 3.5 years now.
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Has everybody started eating their huge bags of beans yet? Because if so, there’s going to be a lot of farting going on. There certainly is at our house. 
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Some of us are more worried about catching something fatal from the aftershave and axe spray out there. Cut the fog, people.
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Keeping two metres apart, I trust.
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I wouldn’t rule it out:
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Actually, even if you are butt naked you should be fine, unless, perhaps, you’re within five centimeters of another human.
How is that suggested by the experiment? They tested at 5cm and found bacteria. They didn’t test at further ranges, yet we are concluding that beyond 5cm is okay?
I’m just saying, the data doesn’t support or refute your conclusion, and therefore I am banning all unclothed farting in my general direction, whether 5cm or any further distance away.
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Fuck yeah, SCIENCE!
I’m hoping other scientists are trying to replicate the results.
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Cut to 2020
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I’m certain these scientists would tell you that it’s an area that needs more study, and that journalists should be cautiously optimistic.
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The farting basically guarantees it.
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“Got the petri dish ready, Floyd? Hey, what’s the Bunsen burner for?”
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It also doesn’t say whether typical fart diffusion rate is already known. If the average velocity of an unladen fart is …
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So that is yet another way dogs are always trying to help us.
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