Chicago is demanding that children on bail wear private-sector ankle-cuffs with mics that can record them without their consent

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This is shitty on top of shitty on top of shitty. Shitty all the way down.


Step 1:
Get a general profile of who will be listening in on the device.
Step 2:
Determine the music that would drive the listener bonkers (while staying within the bounds of the bail conditions.)*
Step 3:
Use an iPod (or walkman) to play these songs in a loop, using earbuds taped to the microphone, so as not to disturb present company.
Step 4:
Play that music constantly as “white noise” to block any eavesdropping.

*I am thinking something truly mind-numbing, such as songs created for certain kids shows, or some truly awful wannabe kids bands that belong nowhere near a recording studio.


The Barney theme would fit nicely and I do believe has actually been used by the government, possibly at Waco. Of course, this would obviously get you sent to detention…


I think these devices are a great idea. Lets put them on every Police Officer.


Does it at least live stream on Facebook or Twitch?

Help me understand this, please. So, they put a mic on the ankle of kids out of bail, for reasons. Does this not place an audio bug on anyone that the kid may be around? Parents, friends, family members? Does this not violate about a zillion violation of privacy laws? Or does having contact with your child constitute implied consent or some such shit as this? Seriously, is there not a lawyer out there who could make mincemeat of a crappy policy like this? Or is it only applied to the browns, so it’s ok?


Sorry in advance for the earworm.

“1 877 cars for kids, K-A-R-S cars for kids … ?”

Alternate with “Let It Go” and/or “It’s a Small World” (really many Disney songs would fit here), a group of people singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” as a round (for an hour or two), and something without words for a change – the sound of running water flowing through a stream for 20 minutes should give anyone listening the urge to use the restroom.

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Chicago, putting the failed into failed state.

The Jetsons made all this future tech shit look so cute, didn’t they?



“children on bail” sounds like a Dead Kennedys record.


You forgot ‘Profit!’

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maybe they could cuff something else and check for tumescence, you know they’re working up to it anyway.

well at least the bracelets don’t inject sedatives.

Chicago has been controlled by Democrats for 60 years; what’s expected to change?
I’m not Democrat bashing - just stating the fact - so no flaming please

First crude step on the horror-journey to forced subcutaneous surveillance implants.

BTW: The Track Group employees have interesting things to say on the Glassdoor website. I haven’t found anything yet re TG’s political contributions.

Do you have any suggestions for any viable solutions to the problem of corruption in Chicago politics, by any chance?


I think he’d prefer more Illinois politicians like:

  • George Ryan
  • Dennis Hastert
  • Dan Crane
  • Len Small
  • William Lorimer
  • Aaron Schock