I wish that someone steps up to lead this…
Granted, if you participate in the new game, you can role-play that encounter any way you like.
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They do, and the internet gets swallowed up by more timewasters than you can waste a time at.
I wish that my wish be granted by another wish.
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Wish, the magic Wish Dragon (don’t ask, he’s sore about it), comes down in all his splendor–let’s face it, he’s pretty unimpressive–ahems and speaks.
'‘Uh huh. Carry the nuthin’ … still nothing. Your null wish is granted. Honestly, I wouldn’t have shown up and you’d just have been left wondering but there’s rules and I’ve already gotten one reprimand this month. Bureaucracy. Time was I could eat you … or something. Dad was a little vague on this point. And don’t go wishing you could get rid of me. You’re out of wishes this round, mate."
This goes on and on. For a very long time. Eventually Wish yawns and falls asleep. Colin Firth appears and offers you a hot beverage.
I wish Colin Firth would offer me a hot beverage.
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Well, that was fast. The legendary @Donald_Petersen has volunteered to be CEO - Chief Entertainment Officer of this here project.
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Granted… or corrupted?
Heh… time will tell!
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Granted. Colin Firth offers you a litre of Carolina Reaper juice.
I wish the Daily Mail had to be nice to everyone.
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Granted. They are staggeringly nice to everyone. However, the only people they write about are the people that you hate. That you now have to read the most glowing things about all the time.
I wish adults got snow days too.
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Dang, I made that way too easy.
Granted. Zack Snyder decided changing out the giant octopus just wasn’t enough. He really needed to put a signature on the movie. Two, really. And neither of them his.
The movie introduced two new characters. Happy Trees and The Neighbor. The man with the white boy fro spent the whole movie following Ozymandius around, trying to convince him that things weren’t so grim after all. The man with the cardigan followed Rorschach around and tried to convince him to think of others–especially his one time love interest Nite Owl–and be more tolerant.
Their actions didn’t really change anyone’s minds but in the final scenes, Dr. Manhattan realizes the beauty of humanity and of the natural world and recognizes Rorschach as the embodiment of that humanity. He uses his powers to slip Rorschach out of his mask and kisses him. Their tender moment causes Nite Owl true pain and he runs in to the snow storm.
Rorschach follows him and the two are never seen again.
And the worst part of it is that Alan Moore loved this version.
I wish aloe & moisturizers didn’t smell like a chemical farm.
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Granted. The chemicals added to reduce the smell burn your skin like a motherf123er.
I wish that I had the week off from work.
Granted,
That wilted salad off the dirty plate in the stinky work cafeteria… not such a good idea.
You are now stuck in bed for a week.
I wish nature wasn’t so intimidating.
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Granted.
Nature becomes irrelevant in the Nature-vs-Nurture debate. Too bad your parents raised you to be a toadstool.
I wish to invent a better mousetrap.
… I’m ok with this.
Granted. Tonight, the vision of the perfect mousetrap will come to you in a dream. It keeps the mouse in perfect comfort after being trapped. I mean, there’s even a little mouse recliner in there, and a little mouse TV (though for some reason, all that the mice want to watch is [Desperate Mousewives][1]).
In fact, the issue with your mousetrap is that it’s so comfortable that mice are actually flocking to your house, hoping for a stay at what has been nicknamed the “[Ratz Carlton][2].” Your house overrun, you have no choice but to flee.
I wish that I could breathe while submerged in water (as well as when not submerged).
[1]: Desperate Housewives (TV Series 2004–2012) - IMDb
[2]: The Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company - Wikipedia
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Granted. But in order to extract sufficient O2 from the water, you need a steady stream of water running through your body, as you can’t extract enough by breathing-in and exhaling. Your body, though, miraculously adapts by expelling the water through your already convenient liquid removal system. Unfortunately, this adaptation leaves those particular body parts incapable of performing any function other than elimination.
Enjoy!
I wish @jlw, who made an appearance in the first Badass Door Game, would play the new iteration, roleplaying as an alternate reality @pesco and driving, of course, this.
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You win, sorta.
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Where’s the frikkin new wish? Oh I get it. The invisible wish. Your invisible wish is granted, but it got corrupted in the universal wish translator, which misinterpreted it to mean that you wanted to become invisible. So you are poof invisible, and no one can find you.
I wish to be able to teleport around wherever I want to and have a built in sensor that won’t let me teleport inside an object or person or anywhere dangerous like outerspace or deep undersea or a fire but I can still go places and get back and go again and remain happy and whole and not hurt anybody.
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Granted.
Sadly the wish machine has a 200 character FIFO buffer and part of the message was lost.
You are teleported to a deep sea fire in outer space.
(Teleportation is not one of the remaining return transport options, this may take a while)
I wish I had a magical wish-giving pony.
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Granted. Unfortunately, you weren’t specific enough about your usage of the verb “had.” You might as well have said “knew.” Local law enforcement is on your ass. And so, coincidentally enough, is that pony.
I wish I had time for all these great BBS games!
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Poof, you are transported to McMurdo station in Antarctica, with a TRS-80 computer, a 56k modem, a fuel cell, a pantry full of Cheetos and a mega snowstorm that rages for 30 years straight without stopping. All you can do now is play BBS games and try to keep your head from turning inside out in the solitude, since all the other station employees left well before the storm, due to their own wishes being granted.
I wish that all animals had wishbones, even worms.
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Of course, that now includes you! Turns out that human sized wishbones are perfect for the likes of velociraptors to exercise their meal-time whimsy. But don’t worry, the worms that munch on the remains of your ravaged carcass can sympathize what it must have been like to have one’s wishbone extracted whilst still living.
I wish the neighbors’ dog would quit barking.
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