Crazy Christ-induced mouth spasms

Originally published at:


I’m not disputing the characterization at all, but I was expecting crazy Christ-induced mouth spasms to look more like this:


I think that’s Jim Bakker on the left at 0:52, and the excerpt is probably from one of his “The End Is Nigh, Buy My Prepper Supply” videos. Disgraced televangelists never disappear, they just change their sales pitches.


One might keep well in mind that one of the original tenets of Christianity was speaking in tongues. Its single nod to the modern world is that uncomprehensible babble comes out in the form of republican talking-points. (and yes, my username is particularly ironic here)



And the “divine right of kings” allows for unlimited droit de seigneur, now known as “grab’em by the pussy; if you’re rich, they’ll let you do anything”


Le choisi!

(Or, as Miéville put it: the The Shwazzy!)


The fact that millions of people believe this is incredibly disheartening.


You are correct - that is convicted felon Jim Bakker.


That’s the second time in recent memory I’ve seen a purported Christian talk about something “cursing” your children. What the… I mean, I’m an atheist but I was raised by an “evangelical”, and I’ve never heard a more unChristian sentiment than that. That’s freaking WITCHCRAFT you are talking about lady, and from everything I’ve heard, you go to HELL for believing sh#t like that.


Ironically there isn’t a holy fear they may be wrong about their assumption.


Circular reasoning, he is what we ended up with, so god must have chosen him. . . except no Democrat is ever the chosen one (post Jimmy Carter anyway.)

[added: why doesn’t Matthew 7:15 “ye shall know them by their fruits” ever get applied to Republicans? I don’t see how Trump incarcerating thousands of immigrant kids is god’s work.]


Nope. No Trump here…

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God will get her too. He told me, at lunch, while we were playing pinochle, he cheats too.


I’m listening, thinking, “OK, so if Trump is chosen, then logically so was Obama…” and then they got into “recognizing” the chosen one, and we got into the heart of things. The “chosen one” is whoever they say it is, regardless of what he’s done, and you’re going to hell if you don’t recognize it. They’ve taken some of the fundamental problems with religion (e.g. how do you know your religion is the one, true one?) and just multiplied them.

The “truth” is whatever they want to believe. The truth is what’s convenient for them at that moment, which is… convenient.

It’s worse then that, because, as you say, no Democrat is apparently “chosen.” It’s purely circular - the chosen one is the chosen one because they’ve decided he’s the chosen one. No more, no less.

I’m still amazed that the group most obsessed with the story of the Antichrist has so wholeheartedly thrown their support behind Trump, to the point where whatever vestigial tenets of Christianity were left in their religion are being jettisoned. All of this without any apparent awareness.


Speaking in tongues still is alive today. I knew a gal in middle and high school who attended one such a church, and I’d heard that even as early as 7th grade she would herself speak in tongues at church. This is not rural Texas either, this was Chicago suburbs.


Well… if I wasn’t an atheist, that would drive me to it. Because fuck that self-fulfilling drivel. “Oh, we KNOW this is the chosen one!” How, fuck nugget? How did you “know” magically Connie Chump was the “chosen one?” Right, because he’s white and tells you to fear brown folks. To love money. To ignore facts and information for his word. To basically go against EVERYTHING YOUR FUCKING RELIGION TAUGHT YOU.

Evangelical Christians are the smarmiest bunch of grifters I’ve ever seen after Donnie “University” Dump.


Hey, Paul Atreides was the Chosen One, and it worked out just fine!


These are the kind of charlatans and just evil fucking people my mom was just enthralled with and sadly made monthly donations. All you have to do is actually read the god damned Bible to know these people here ARE the false prophets, they ARE the wolf in sheep’s clothing, they ARE the father of lies. But you know, don’t actually follow the god damned Bible, that your whole fucked up religion is based, just start listening to the lying liars who want you to send them your money. Fuck xtianity.


Is there a word for a display of stupidity, ignorance, and delusion so ridiculous that one can’t be arsed to mock it? Come on, there must be an awesome German word for this.


Oh god. Oh no. The horror…

Interlaced video.