Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/15/watch-jim-bakker-says-people.html
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I think it’s compulsory that Vic Berger’s re-edit of Jim Bakker’s bucket pitch needs to be posted anytime his show is mentioned.
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Isn’t there a line in The Beatitudes about “blessed are those that grabbeth by the pussy, for they shall be exalted”?
Or maybe I’m thinking of Matthew 19:24
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And here’s that paragon of Christianity, Jerry Falwell talking about the great things Trump has done…
“I do not believe that any president in our lifetimes has done so much that has benefited the Christian community in such a short time span than Donald Trump,”
“He bombed those in the Middle East who were persecuting and killing Christians,"
He’s just so Christ-like, isn’t he?
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Umm…
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Well at least this guy knows who his market is. Racist, homophobic, Christian fanatics, whom believe the world is coming to an end, but they can prolong their survival through the purchase of buckets of freeze-dried corn and peas. Imagine surviving a nuclear holocaust and all you have to eat is buckets full of those little kernels of corn from the Cup Noodles.
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I think that is Bro 2:00 am
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This clown, and every fuckwit like him, is completely full of shit. That’s my spiritual diagnosis. And I’m qualified, because I have a degree in Divinity!
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Why the hell are so many American religious leaders serpents and spawn of vipers?
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Now I’m imagining a MOAB with the name “The Other Cheek” stenciled on the side.
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I can see where Bakker would feel a certain affinity with a philandering TV confidence artist who pretends to be a Christian while talking lightly about nukes flying; especially now that he’s gulling frightened elderly evangelicals into giving him “donations” of $400 “or more” (plus shipping) for his Jeebus-approved apoco-buckets.
I wonder what percentage of those over-priced buckets of nutri-glop he sells to his Xtianist prepper marks is sawdust. It has to be at least 5%.
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One of the greatest recurring ironies for me when it comes to Christians is how many act exactly like the Pharisees did. They pray out loud in public, they extol the virtues of their faith, they condemn others as if they’re fit to judge, and they hoard wealth like that’s god’s blessing to them. I haven’t read the bible since I was a teenager, but I remember prohibitions against all that.
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Even if we accept Bakker’s thesis that bombing the middle east is the work of christ… has there been a president in my lifetime that has dropped fewer bombs on the middle east that Trump has? I don’t think so. I’m not saying Trump can’t catch up, but it’s not like blowing things up in the middle east is some revolutionary new way of doing things. Blowing things up in Syria made people say he seems presidential.
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Once President Pence is installed, we will be a de facto Christian theocracy, with the Pharisees in charge.
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Well I’m pointing out that the white horse of the apocalypse in Christian mythology is the horse of conquest or pestilence, and when it is referred to as the horse of the spirit it means the spirit of Christ.
But now I find this little tiny sparsely sourced footnote:
Evangelicals have apparently broken away from Christianity entirely and decided to paint the horsemen as whatever the fuck they want.
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You cannot serve God and potato soup Mammon both.
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40 days and 40 nights of bucket food.
I’d be firing up the BBQ and triaging those Ark animals on day 1.
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Those poor unicorns.
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