God tells Jim Bakker that Trump is going to win


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/11/04/god-tells-jim-bakker-that-trum.html


God tells Jim Bakker that Trump is going to win


Why would god want Trump to win?


Well, if someone would know, it’s God.*

  • Trump 2016!


Any word on if we still should keep buying buckets of food?


Because of the End Times, of course. Don’t you know about the Bible and the return of Jesus?


The snake oil saleswoman who was “shaken” is telling the truth, but the shaking took place when she was a baby.


Trump will site this as proof of election tampering when he loses. Something along the lines of:

“I was already told I won by God so when I saw the results, I knew that God can’t be wrong, so someone must have cheated bigly.”



because god is contractually bound not to use the proved and tested way to destroy mankind again?


Jim breaks a couple commandments for that endorsement:

  • Do not take the name of the Lord in vain
  • Do not bear false witness

edit: Actually, most of the time that he opens his mouth - an attribute he shares with Trump


He should have said that god will call Drumpf to the Whitehouse unless Jim receives $8 million in donations…


I think God just likes to fuck with that guy. He previously told Bakker to expect an earth-shattering cataclysm around September 13 of last year. Imagine how embarrassing it must have been for Bakker when he found out that he’d urged all his viewers to purchase his personal line of pre-packaged survival foods for nothing.


A sadly underutilized phrase. It just rolls off the tongue.


##God tells Jim Bakker that Trump is going to win


I have a bad feeling that explains a lot of Trump’s supporters.


God is just full of things to say:

To Jim Bakker:

About Jim Bakker:

Through Jim Bakker:

Oh, God…


Enough reading of the Old Testament and GOP primary nominees’ statements reveals God to be the Untrolled Troll.


Maybe God’s just afraid Trump’s shock troops will burn down more of His houses if He doesn’t endorse him.


God is just gettin’ devious.

It’s the writing on the wall!


Dear nonexistent God, consider Giant Meteor. Same hairdo, less painful for everyone.