Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/09/13/dennys-new-mascot-looks-like.html
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Well turd like is an apt metaphor for the food anyway.
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Mister Hankey makes me want to Snap the Slams.
(Does anybody know what that means?)
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Surely this isn’t real?
Tell me this isn’t real!
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While I am merely okay with Denny’s breakfast, it is a fairly accurate representation of their little, smooth sausages that lack any sort of defining curves. They look kind of like the “perfect poop” represented in diet vs. poop charts.
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Makes perfect sense to me - they’re saying they’ve upgraded the food so it won’t give you diarrhea anymore.
The food is still crap, but it’s not ass explosion crap anymore. Rejoice!
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Leaves South Park with a dilemma: sue for infringement or incorporate into an out-of-town cousin for Mr. Hankey. Mr. Denny Visits The Big City.
Frankly dear, I don’t give a crap.
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I mean, Denny’s is the only place open 24 hours in a lot of rural areas (the town I grew up in e.g.) maybe they’re making a deliberate effort to tap a younger, non-wasted market segment of the all-night mountain-dew-chugging, poop-joke-loving, unironically-laughing-at-southpark-racist-jokes shitposters. Times is tough for diners.
ETA: oh, and 
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I’ll bet the graphic designer was told what to make, and maybe even tried to warn them “you know, it’ll just look like a turd to most folks.”
Seems like the bacon-and-eggs smiley face would’ve been a better choice, but that might’ve been harder to trademark.
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“Corporate wants us to push the sausage, because it’s slightly cheaper than bacon, even though we charge the same.”
“But… Whatever.”
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Snap the Slams = Quickly buy & consume their Grand Slam menu items I think?
Haven’t been to a Denny’s in 8 years though so not sure. I thought Mr. Hankey at first, then I thought Sausage Party, then Pickle Rick/Mr. Poopy Butthole - this character will never be able to stand on it’s own and is doomed to fail. thankfully.
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somebody got paid to make that? that means i have a chance, too!
shameless plug:
monolithcreative.com
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Just a guess…maybe somebody in Marketing loved Sausage party a bit too much.
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as a former denny’s employee, this seems appropriate to me.
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You don’t think he’s the next Ronald McDonald?
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“…and I’d like some sausage with those eggs, please.”
“Of course, ma’am. Would you like the eggs sunny up, or over easy?”
“Over easy, please.”
“And for the sausage, would you prefer Type 3, or Type 4?”
“Excuse me…what?”
[waiter flips menu over] “We’ve included this chart for your convenience, ma’am; now, Type 3 or Type 4 for the sausage?”
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They probably told the designer "Whatever you do, don’t make it an anthropomorphic dick-like sausage ".
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