Thank you, that was worth a solid LOL for me. 
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Spread peanut butter on both sides of the bread. Put the jam over one side. When you put the sandwich together, the jam is sealed inside, making for less sog and mess.
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I’m introverted, an early bird, and I prefer crunchy. That being said and since there is discussion about pb&j here I must state that pb&j is an extreme food aversion to me. Prior to first grade I ate them all the time but after spending the night at a friend’s house and getting sick off one on that occasion, the sight, smell, and even thought of them makes me feel like vomiting. They are not allowed in my house if I’m around.
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Quick Papa Peas tip: smear the PB on both slices, but half as much one each as you’d normally use on the one. Jam in the middle.
Also, the question shouldn’t be smooth vs creamy, it should be real peanut butter vs the sugary, hydrogenated peanut emulsification they’re allowed to call peanut butter.
Also, also, now that the health food store doesn’t make their own anymore, Teddie has become my favorite brand. It’s got a nice toasted flavor and it’s also the name of Young Master Peas.
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I’ll eat either, but I prefer crunchy. And yes, I’m a night owl (see my username), but no, I’m not an extrovert. I prefer jam or preserves over jelly, as both spread over the bread better than jelly does. If I had the option right now, I’d have apple butter. I haven’t had that since I was a kid, and I miss it.
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I grew up on creamy and ate it afterward out of familiarity until about 10 years ago I hard switched to crunchy and while I’ll eat both, I like crunchy better.
Also grape jam is waaay better than strawberry jelly, but I like apricot, boysenberry, and apple as well.
We always have grape jam on hand, and I’m going to make myself a sammich right now. 
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It’s almost as if the complexity of the human experience is impossible to define in binary terms. 
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PB on one side and Nutella (or cheap knock-off chocolate spread) on the other.
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That’s because the US put them on the heavy rotation menu for soldiers in WWII. Peanut butter had good protein, was cheaper than meat, and easy to store.
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OK, ready?
Peanut butter and banana (maybe a bit o’ honey); Cream cheese with jelly (preferably strawberry).
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Mostly I hate that crap peanut butter they sell in grocery stores, Skippy, Peter Pan, Jiff, whatever. Peanut solids plus trans fats plus sugar. I love peanut butter, but my peanut butter has one goddamn ingredient: peanuts. Put the peanuts into the food processor and run the thing until they’re buttery. Is it smooth? Is it chunky? How the hell should I know – it’s ground-up peanuts.
Which I guess tells you everything you need to know about my personality – I’m an angry asshole.
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Re: the jelly/jam debate - I got some bergamot/lemon marmalade from the farmer’s market this summer (haven’t been able to find it since) and it was the BEST! I like the occasional PB&J in general (pretty agnostic on crunchy vs. creamy, depends on mood and usage) but most of the time the fruit spread makes it too sweet.
This bergamot marmalade stayed juuuust this side of the line of being too sweet, but still felt kind of like eating dessert for lunch.
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My Mom’s solution was to put butter on the jelly side before the jelly. That kept it from bleeding thru the bread.
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Crunchy or creamy cream cheese?
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hooray for interoverted morning people who prefer crunchy! we are underrepresented in this study. but really, what’s this JIF nonsense?? everyone knows that Skippy Super Chunk is the way to go. also, blackberry jam forever. [EDIT]: full disclosure, we have a jar of JIF creamy in the pantry right now, left over from a recipe. and i’ll happily eat it. i just have my druthers.
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Crunchy - and preferably:
Divine on toast!
Re: PB&J: not a thing in the UK really, although I did as a child discover a liking for sausage and strawberry jam sandwiches. Haven’t had one in years… mmm… brb!
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I agree, cream cheese with any kind of tart fruit makes a bomb-ass sandwich.
I like cream cheese and Kiwi. Sometimes I’ll do toast with cream cheese, kiwi, and on just one side some vegemite.
Delicious
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We have a bunch of apple butter in the basement right now. I don’t like it at all, but Mr. and Jr. Kidd like it. Mr. Kidd made it, too. Do you want some? We seriously have too much.
My grandma did this. Yuk.
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That’s clever, though for some reason the combination of butter and peanut butter always made me a little queasy.
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