Did someone bet Elon that it was impossible to piss $44billion up against a wall by the end of the year?
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Very, very much like Brexit.
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“Sorry that this is my first email to the whole company.”
It is not his first email to the company. That was the one about layoffs that he was too cowardly to sign. I’d love to know how many of the employees who weren’t fired have already spoken to recruiters. Elon is going to need to hope layouts and hiring freezes in other companies are enough to prevent the rest of his staff leaving.
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Hope the folks at Twitter are happy they decided to sell to Musk 
guess i’m glad i never really used the platform but it certainly sucks for the folks that used it as their primary social platform. At this point it seems like a given the company will go under, unless the decision is make to sell it off at a loss to someone who will actually give a shit and has some kind of cohesive plan.
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They got way, way more money for selling the platform than it was ever worth so I imagine they probably aren’t too broken up about it.
If they ever get nostalgic and want to create another tool for making life on earth intolerable they can just invest a few of their newfound billions into bioweapons or something.
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Self-congratulatory props in his mind when he sent the message:
The props the team will get in reality:
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If I spent a lot of time and effort making something, I’d like to imagine it would last more than a couple weeks after me.
I’d also like to imagine it would be something good.
Lots of reasons I will never be rich, really. 
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A neural agonizer, you say? I like it.
Yes, yes, I hear what you’re saying. Now, how soon do you think you can get us this neural agonizer thing?
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Presidential seal needs to change to a twitter logo and the aircraft carrier needs to be under water.
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Sure, but I think of the Twitter acquisition this way.
Imagine you built a house by hand. It’s not the best house; all the pipes leak and it’s not up to code and it’s got a massive infestation of armband-wearing termites that you’ve never figured out how to deal with. But it’s yours, and that comes with a sense of pride nonetheless. Suddenly a coked-out real estate investor comes by and makes you an offer many times what the property is worth; more than enough to build a new home up in a better location or even just buy your own luxury mansion anywhere you want.
As you drive away with your truckload of money you take one last look in the rearview mirror and see smoke billowing out of the windows as the real estate investor jerks off on the back porch in a futile attempt to extinguish the flames with his own semen.
Does this make you sad? Probably a little. But not enough to turn back.
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The elastic recoil Musk hopefully receives down the line:
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The last sentence of his email:
I look forward to working with you to take Twitter to a whole new level. The potential is truly incredible!
I’m sure that “looking forward to” sentiment is not mutual. And wait, what potential is he even talking about? The whole email is doom and gloom and it’s gonna suck working here. My god.
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Crazy story about that one time…
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Holy fudge, Papasan; that is creepy!
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Got the logo right and everything! (Had a literal out-loud chuckle at your excellent visual pun, which doesn’t happen often!)
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Anybody know what’s up with Biden and Musk today?
Someone posted something about Biden should be careful what he asks for because Musk’s ties to other countries will finally expose Biden’s seedy history.
Are they saying the Saudis have the dirt on Biden and will give the info to Musk?
It’s hard to keep up with the algorithms.
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There’s not enough alcohol in the world to get that mental image out of my head…
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I haven’t heard anything like that - do you have a link or something? Otherwise I just assume it’s more “Hunter Biden’s laptop!” nonsense
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