Facebook plans to fix everything by rebranding under a new name

A friend suggested Spectre and I can’t think of a more perfect fit.

Give Zuck a Persian cat and a monocle, maybe an underground lair with piranha-filled pools, and it’s a 100% match.

Of course there’s a slight problem with this. Zuck already controls more of the world than any Bond villain ever aspired to. “Zuck wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.”

6 Likes

But Diamond Age would be perfect for him…

“To fix all of the fucked up shit I did with girls body images on Instagram I’m going to write a primer for the young ladies of the world to encourage them in the STEM field and mass revolution. It’s like a marketplace of girls… I mean of ideas… populated by young vulnerable women. I call it… GMax - in tribute to my good friend and champion of young girls Ghislaine Maxwell.”

5 Likes

So he’ll probably just name it Metaverse.

5 Likes

They’re just going back to “The Facebook”

4 Likes

That’s what she said.

“Mr. Zuck’s Lesser Info Highway”?

3 Likes

If you’re all in on the storybook villains, how about E-Corp? Or one better, F-Corp!

3 Likes

I wish Neal Stephenson would sue him. He invented the “metaverse” name.

3 Likes

13 Likes

Or maybe “Tyco Electronics”?

2 Likes

We have companies and products named “Soylent,” “Cyberdyne” and “Skynet.” Yeah, I think so. (Though I’m waiting for someone to call themselves “Evilcorp.”)

5 Likes

And Amazon is set to become the real-world Buy 'n Large* from WALL-E, complete with their own space program.

I wonder how many of the passengers had Prime memberships…

*I always got the feeling that Pixar based the branding for that company on Costco, but Costco definitely doesn’t have the naked ambition to become the sole remaining corporation/world government.

6 Likes

Actually, DH and I are voting for IOI, from Ready Player One.

4 Likes

At least Mr. Lee’s Greater Hong Kong was not as reprehensible.

2 Likes

Well it worked for Windscale - although that was much less toxic.

3 Likes

I always assumed B&L was Walmart-based because they do have the naked ambition to rule the entire world, but since I’ve not set foot in heir stores in decades, I don’t really know what they look like on the insides. From photos and advertisements I’ve seen, I assume their interior branding is nowhere near as nice or classy as the omnipresent B&L logo themes in the movie.

1 Like

It’s sad to think he’ll try to make them pay to hide the shame he cultivates by having his influencers offer them premium avatars that beautiful people adore.

2 Likes

Is MySpace available?

4 Likes

Isn’t this what the new Dr. Strange movie is about?

1 Like

When I checked some years back, they actually owned assbook dot com, but now it’s hidden behind an anonymous registration and the DNS servers for the domain are AWOL.

4 Likes