I think we need to get some fake spoilers for Star Wars: The Force Awakens circulating just to make sure there’s enough misinformation out there to counteract the real spoilers which are sure to hit the scene shortly. I’ll start:
Obi-Wan didn’t actually die during his confrontation with Vader. His empty robes fell to the ground because he undressed very quickly as a distraction before escaping naked into a shuttlecraft. Subsequent “Force Ghost” appearances were actually just teleconferences via R2-D2’s holo-projector.
Kylo Ren has spent decades plotting revenge against the Skywalker family for the untimely death of his father, noted Tatooine musician Max Rebo.
Yoda was actually only in his late 30s, he just didn’t take very good care of himself.
C3-P0’s arm isn’t red now because it was a replacement part, it’s just stained with the blood of his enemies.
Garindan is now recognized as the foremost bounty hunter in the galaxy. He earned this title because unlike Boba Fett, he was able to rat out the location of the Millenium Falcon to Imperial Forces without getting knocked into the Sarlaac pit like a punk shortly afterward.
Due to a time-loop involving Red Matter, Luke is actually Anakin’s father.
Yoda’s children make an appearance in the film. Their names are: Yoyo, Yomama, and Yowassup
The film starts out on Coruscant, where all of the characters from the original trilogy are lounging around. Suddenly, Coruscant explodes, and Finn and Rey are picked up by Vogons.
I was surprisingly affected by Han Solo’s death, never saw the betrayal of him by his younger brother coming (and what an awesome bit of casting it was to get Bill Murray in that role!)
Having Luke Skywalker stuck in the time vortex for the whole movie was a bit of a cop out, though.
I thought it was okay up until the 10 minute long basketball scene (yeah, I know, “space ball”) between Poe Dameron and Chewbacca, in which BB-8 gets mistaken for the ball.
[quote=“Felton, post:5, topic:70751”]
I thought it was okay up until the 10 minute long basketball scene (yeah, I know, “space ball”)
[/quote] The Light Side Can’t Jump
I’m ok with the vortex, however having the vortex triggered by a quantum collapse of probability states when definitive proof of “who shot first” was discovered seemed like a pretty contrived plot point.
The sphere at the bottom of BB-8 contains Jar-Jar’s head.
The Emperor was exterminating the Midi-chlorians because they manipulate their hosts
Thanks to Luke, the plague spread unchecked, ‘force users’ popped up everywhere, and their galaxy was destroyed.
The beginning of every movie was a warning… they’re here now.
Mark Hamill IS Luke Skywalker and he’s been manipulating us into inventing light sabers, because they radiate dark matter that is the source of the Force.
E.T. was already part of the Star Wars universe. Aside from his obvious mastery of the Force, why else would he have recognized Yoda (during the trick-or-treating scene) or associated him with “home?”
