FDA warns companies: stop selling quack "vaginal rejuvenation," adds, "People, please don't do this to yourselves"

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/31/laser-bits.html

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But … but … I read in Goop that’s it’s one weird trick to revitalising your sex life. How can this be?

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omg… as a time traveller. I can tell you the “Vulva Ray” according to our history books was not meant to be invented until well into the 2030s, this is deeply concerning.

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These laser-based devices are genuinely scary. Don’t use them! But maybe the FDA should consider approving actual pelvic floor physical therapy devices like the Epi-No, which is used in Australia, Canada, and Europe, so that people aren’t left to deal with incontinence, childbirth recovery, prolapse, and other serious pelvic floor issues without any approved alternatives.

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Jesus Fucking Christ. The tradition of vagina-destroying quack medical “treatments” continues.

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I don’t know that I want to live in a country where Big Government thinks it’s any of its business to tell hard-working entrepreneurs that they shouldn’t be shooting untested lasers at ladies’ vaginas.

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I’ve never once looked at a vagina and thought “You know what that needs…rejuvenation.”

If one wants to revitalize their sex life…there is one very simple solution…have sex.

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Now, if those lasers were attached to sharks, well… that’s a different story.

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Everyone knows that the real cure-all is ground-up parts of nearly extinct animals.

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It’s also gold leaf and bugs.

goop_magazine-500x281

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@doctorow: The link to the FDA’s tweet just links back to the BB post.


On Topic:

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Wait…are you saying that vaginas and breasts are not directly connected?! WHAT? /s

screaming fuck is sort of the bare minimum here.

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I was going to express the opinion that a comparable product marketed to men would fail, but I realized that’s BS. Repackage “vaginal rejuvenation” as “laser assisted male enhancement” and you’d have no end of customers.

The reflexive belief people have that something is wrong with them, coupled with the gospel of perfectability we see preached at top volume from every screen is really insidious, and if Gwyneth Paltrow is any measure, really lucrative.

I get that this is just the most recent, most extreme example of body shaming that the “health” and beauty industry has been pushing for decades, but it really seems to have gone past peak crazy. I hope that my daughter’s generation can arrive at a healthier paradigm.

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I guess these charlatans didn’t provide enough campaign contributions to avoid Trumpian FDA oversight. I bet next time they’ll shell out.

So see my comment from above…

and now make it…
I’ve never once looked at a penis and NOT thought…“That clearly needs rejuvenation”

Seriously…male genitalia is just embarrassing and sad to look at.

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Do they even have the Quack Miranda Warning?

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Quack_Miranda_Warning

This/these statement(s) have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

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Breast cancer, or rather the treatment of it, can badly mess up all the lady bits.
Especially the mucous membranes can suffer in all parts of the body.
Some types of breast cancer require treatments that amount to the equivalent of a chemical sterilization.

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Sounds like you could use some cheering up! Check out Kirby Dick’s new Doc about the medical device industry and it’s relationship to the FDA: The Bleeding Edge. I only spent about half of the runtime crying and two thirds screaming with rage (although I was on the train, so…).

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I think maybe the point of my comment went past you.

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