Florida man in liquor store forklift rampage


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/08/14/florida-man-in-liquor-store-fo.html


#2

The officers stopped Jones at gunpoint and were able to detain him.

Apparently a white man in control of a forklift truck isn’t a sufficient threat to make cops “fear for their lives”.


#3

I think the forklift was meant for Alice, considering she was just small.


#4

Florida gentleman is unable to remember what the dormouse said.


#5

It’s really quite astonishing how the exact same cops can be a bunch of jackbooted thugs towards some people and a group committed to “protecting and serving” towards other people. It’s almost as if America was a nation of equality and justice for some but not for others.


#6

he was told to commit the offenses by a hookah-smoking caterpillar.

Why not, makes as much sense as all the other religions.


#7

Its all about not confusing your medications. If you mix up the ones that make you just small with the ones that do nothing at all, then when you set out to have fun destroying your sandbox with the toy forklift, you can accidentally destroy the construction site with the full sized forklift instead.

Always, always keep your pills well labeled so you know which ones you got from your mother and which ones you got from someone in wonderland. It can also be helpful to know which ones make you larger and which make you small.


#8

:woman_facepalming::laughing::rabbit2:

Listened to “White Rabbit” a few too many times.


#9

That’s an expensive water meter, considering it’s only two inches big!
Here’s one for a few hundred GBP. And of course they’re for nothing on Alibaba.


#10

When I look at that mugshot I see the face of a man who will not age gracefully. He appears to be 32 going on 50.


#11

Drugs will do that.


#12

I think the drugs are turning him into Bill the Cat.


#13

I was expecting something more like this:


#14

Wait, shouldn’t the “m” in “man” in the headline be catitalized?

And; that’s one way to quit drinking.

Also; unless it carries a message ( i.e. graffiti ) vandalism is dumb and pointless, but this, FUN!!!
Actually, anything involving heavy equipment not used as intended, FUN!!!

Yet still; is that a forklift in your pocket…


#15

If a hookah smoking caterpillar tells you to jump off a bridge, do you jump off the bridge?

Yes, you do. You jump off that bridge.


#16

And if the building under construction that was destroyed hadn’t been intended to house a liquor store when finished, but, say, a dry cleaners - would this be “news”?


#17

Hey, computer, I need a GIF.

I know, I’ve got it ready.

But you couldn’t. I haven’t even told you which GIF I need yet.

Is it by any chance this one?

florida

(through gritted teeth)…Yes.

[Seriously though, I think Bugs now lives in the CPU’s L2 cache.]


#18
  1. Florida
  2. Alcohol may have been involved
  3. literary reference

Is this a trifecta or a hat trick?


#19

Sorry, it’s all my fault! Bugs going “yay” at the end still cracks me up every time, too.


#20

“Forklift Rampage” is my new industrial band.


What is your Band Name, Rapper Name, Album Name