Going out with a whimper: the story of Bang Energy

Originally published at: Going out with a whimper: the story of Bang Energy | Boing Boing

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gotta ask,
big bang energy or small bang energy?

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How soon Jolt Cola is forgotten. They gave it out at the fresher meet and greet for my CompSci class. The extreme programming book one of my managers gave out had a coupon for it…

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Forgotten?!?!? I still have a few dozen bottles kicking around!

Energy drinks wreck my gut, give me good ol’ caffeine and sugar any day.

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Everything I know about Bang and its CEO I learned from the second episode of the second season of How To with John Wilson How To with John Wilson Ep 2: How To Appreciate Wine | Official Website for the HBO Series | HBO.com

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I don’t want my energy drinks to sound like street slang for narcotics.

Hmm… I guess the test is imagining someone looking shifty standing on a street corner/back of a club, asking, “Yo dude, you lookin’ for some …”
[“A SHOC,” “Bacchus-F,” “Bang,” “Bawls,” “Beaver Buzz,” “Bomb,” “Burn,” “Club-Mate,” “Cocaine” (!), “Crunk,” “G-Fuel,” “Gas Monkey,” “Hell,” “Hype,” “Jolt,” “Kickstart,” “Liquid-X,” “Monster,” “Mother,” “Red Bull,” “Red Rooster,” “Reload,” “Rip It,” “Rockstar,” “Rowdy,” “Shark,” “Semtex,” “Sparks,” “Sting,” “Street King,” “Venom”]

Holy shit, it’s true - they do sound like street drugs! Although some sound like made-up drugs from bad sci-fi movies.

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Well not all of them. Semtex?

giphy (3) (2)

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Oh, I dunno - using the name of an explosive for a drug’s street nickname sounds about right. (Except that on a larger scale operation, it sounds just as bad to any listening law enforcement, so there’d be another name for it…)

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The CEO of Bang Energy said as a major Trumpie. The demise of his company is no great shakes.

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To this day, I love walking through the supermarket and intentionally skipping any company that supported 45. I’ll even try new stuff if my usual is gone and the other major brand is a Trumper.

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The Australian roast chicken chain? They do insist on calling themselves “Reds”,so maybe the entire place is a front for a Secobarbital operation.

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I miss the days where you could read an article instead of watching a poorly narrated 15 minute video.

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It’s a disappointing trend.

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TBF, if they sold secobarbitol I might be tempted to go back. Clag has no place in gravy.

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Dropped by to say that. Not only poorly narrated, but that monotonous undertone signifying “bad things happening” led to me not finishing the damned video.

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Are you suggesting that koalas are prone to brainwashing and belief in cults?

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They’re well known as a species to be vulnerable to cults. That’s why they’ve got such a restrictive diet. No biology there, just the koala equivalent of L Ron owning a bunch of eucalyptus groves.

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It never went away! It just doesn’t have the marketing Goliaths behind it that other companies do. You can still buy it, though.

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Weird neighbourhood for a magat drive-by, energy drinks tho. But, hey.

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No, surely they mean the convenience store chain in Canada!

I’m fascinated by identical brands in different countries for completely different things. Like, in the US, there’s a burger chain called Johnny Rockets. In Canada, it’s a chain of car washes (or was, in the ‘80s. Long gone now).

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