Hackers could lock your junk in this web-connected chastity cage

When you really turn them up (mmm!) you can get a bit of a spark jump, but it’s on the order of a centimeter or two at most! There are actually a number of ways to use one, but they all involve close contact of some sort. Violet wands are versatile toys, as the specific results can be anything from a fairly low intensity “tingle” up to feeling something like having your flesh sliced open. However they are not for everyone and some people absolutely do not enjoy the sensations, even at low levels. If this is really a toy you want to try, find a class to experience it before you drop a few hundred into one only to find out it’s not enjoyable, or even worse, only “meh.”

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Might as well post this oh joy sex toy on the subject:

but because of the way the lock is implemented, this does not strike me as particularly sane, or safe. (or, once the hacker gets in, consensual)

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Not quite the same sensation.
But à chacun ses goûts, of course.

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… or the budget option, those fly-zappers shaped like tennis rackets with two(!) AA batteries in them.

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Electrified fly swatters are also fun, I think I’m on the third one in my toy kit, but they’re on the “sharper” end of the scale without nearly as much variation in the sensation itself. The swatters are one note instruments, but the wands can be used with anything that conducts electricity. I think everyone who gets a wand ends up walking around the house at some point picking up objects and asking themselves “Is this conductive?” (I mean, we were already getting toys at the hardware store, so it wasn’t that different!)

Not to knock the swatters, you understand, just saying they’re not that similar. Of course in the theme of “wireless,” they absolute score high points!

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True.

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Now that we’ve probably scared most of the normal people away, I’ll have to mention that I recently purchased a new remote shock dog collar. I love these things, but I would never put one on a dog! (Or at least not an actual Canis familiaris, anyway!)

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Chastity Cage is my favorite hard-boiled noir detective…

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If past LPL attacks on electronic locks are anything to go by; something important is probably electromagnetically actuated(not too many good options there if you want electronic control on modest power) and can be trivially manipulated by a magnet from the outside.

That’s assuming that they cared enough to not have the electronics in a pitiful little plastic enclosure with a few phillips screws; that’s also something that seems to come up periodically.

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