"Huge drug bust" at Gatwick Airport was actually vegan cake mix

You’d think so, but not really. A lot of non-wheat flours can provide the binding role that eggs usually play (e.g. almond flour, rice flour), something like applesauce helps retain moisture, and baking powder+soda and acid add leavening normally provided by whipped egg whites, etc. Then there are more obvious substitutes like vegetable oil for butter, nut/grain milk for dairy milk, etc. It’s not exactly the same as an eggs-and-dairy cake, but it’s still recognizably a cake.

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In appearance, anyway.

My kid’s godfather can’t eat any gluten, dairy, chocolate, or consume alcohol, because they are all exacerbate his migraines.

Nevertheless, he’s a very creative, adventuresome man, who’s always experimenting with vegan foods to try appease his sweet tooth.

Over the years I’ve sampled some of the substitutes he makes do with; let’s just say that I’ve found them… lacking.

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Flaxseed or chia seed and water are also decent egg substitutes (they gell). Aquafava is also reportedly an option (I personally haven’t tried it).

Nut milks and creams can be used instead of dairy milk. I don’t know how good it is, but there are options.

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I will give vegan desserts the iota of credit they are due; tofutti fudge pops do taste good.

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I’d just like to take the opportunity to mention one of my favourite headlines of all time:

Tory MP Michael Fabricant forced to eat coffee whitener at gunpoint

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:question:

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That is the longest headline I have ever seen.

aka non-dairy creamer.

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Well, it’s only one slice… of vegan cake… to share.

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Sorry for all of you who haven’t had delicious vegan cakes! Maybe I’ve been eating them all so there’s never any for you?

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Send me one, and I’ll happily try it.

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What weird could-only-be-in-a-vegan-cake-mix ingredient did their testing reveal?

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Too bad real cops don’t behave the way TV cops do. First thing a TV cop would have done would have been to taste a sample of the powder on his finger.

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Exactly. So that just means the ingredients need to come from known sources, not that the ingredients can’t be used.

I’m not vegan, but my partner and I occasionally take afternoon tea (what? There are worse ways to have a date) provided by The Vegan Cakery (not-for-profit in aid of animal sanctuaries):

Everything in the image is vegan, but indistinguishable from (or better tasting than!) non-veggie.

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Well, a lot it depends on what your expectations are. I find that many problems with Western vegetarian cooking come from the attempt to replicate existing, (decidedly not vegetarian) European dishes. But there are plenty of culinary traditions that have dishes that are vegan and aren’t trying to be something else.

Same with cakes. If one is trying to replicate [specific European cake] with substitutes, it’ll fall short, pretty much by definition, since fundamental ingredients are being left out. But, for example, Indian tradition considers eggs to not be vegetarian, so there’s a lot of eggless desserts there. (And they may use ghee and sometimes yogurt, but these are more easily replaceable.) Traditional East Asian cakes tend to lack dairy* and, sometimes, eggs. There are various Middle Eastern cakes and desserts that use neither dairy nor eggs because they’re not required in the context of the kinds of flours being used (which may also be gluten-free), etc.

The problem, of course, is that food isn’t just about taste but associations, memories, family traditions, etc. so people are stuck trying to replicate a particular dish they feel connected to, despite the impossibility due to the inability to use the definitional ingredients.

*Though it depends how traditional you go. Previous to a couple centuries back, apparently the Chinese loved cheese, and put it in everything. (Who knew?)

And if one isn’t using wheat, there are plenty of flours that just don’t require eggs to hold together. E.g. semolina or chickpea flours (which sort of has the aquafaba built in, I guess) used in Middle Eastern cakes.

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So don’t eat it, and don’t worry about the vegans who do.

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My wife is a baker, with her own shop. Has done many trials of vegan cake recipes. None are addictive. Now, her regular cake? That will do some serious damage!

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