Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/07/24/jd-vance-is-not-a-couch-fcker.html
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Okay, but he does have shit on his nose now. And we all know why. 
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“It wasn’t a couch, it was a love seat!”
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Why would it matter if the glove was inside out or not?
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This story may have been fake, but the funny thing about Vance’s book is how much stuff that is in there directly contradicts the narrative that he’s built for himself. I’ve quoted some sections in this BBS before, but among other things he said that his Ohio family made over $100k/year in the 1990s (not bad for a self-proclaimed “hillbilly”) and that Republicans resented Barack Obama for being a good father and hated Michelle because they knew that she was right about the benefits of feeding children healthy food.
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Someone got their wires crossed. It wasn’t JD Vance, it was Madison Cawthorn. Madison was aiming for the couch, but his cousin got in the way.
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It does is you’ve used it once already.
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To the air of “Love Shack” by the B-52s.
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Al Gore never said he invented the internet, but that shit has been thrown around by halfwits for 25 years. I just saw someone trot it out this primary season.
I think it’s fine to amplify this one. Unlike so many toxic false jabs the right throws downward for no other reason than to rankle, accusations of couch glove fucking against a privileged, clueless dingus like Vance is relatively innocent fun.
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Well, that’s a relief.
Now it’s just LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THE MAN that is awful.
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I think one side is coated in corn starch to prevent them sticking together. I don’t know which, or if it matters, though.
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Courtesy of Wonkette I almost spit out my drink
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. . . But ya fuck ONE couch . . .
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I don’t think he ever made the 3-Comma Club.
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I don’t know anything about it, but many people are saying…
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The “sofa king” (say it three times fast)
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JD Vance is not a couch f*cker
Understood - is it okay if I just delete the word ‘couch’?
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Also “not” and I’ll allow it
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I normally disapprove of spreading political disinformation as it’s a dangerous practice that just adds noise to politics and threatens to discredit real issues and any scandals that come to light, but this is kind of funny. Also, it’s sufficiently stupid and minor, especially in light of his running mate being a confirmed sexual predator, that it doesn’t do anything but make Vance seem slightly absurd and grubby, which he clearly is in many other, actually serious, ways (e.g. supporting Trump in the first place).
The joke claiming it’s in his book is perfect, as it’s very easily debunked, but people don’t read or bother to check sources (something Republicans have been counting on for decades, in both hiding their own policies from their voters and in making baseless accusations), but the book passage format lends it legitimacy. You could pretty much make the most ridiculous claims about the content of a fairly popular book like his and still people will believe it.
The pedant in me was struck by that, as it doesn’t even make sense - latex gloves turned inside out are just latex gloves.
The whole glove is coated in corn starch (because otherwise, whatever side didn’t have the corn starch would stick), which is one of the things that makes them problematic for medical uses.
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