Keep your parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme fresh in this airtight 1-up Mushroom jar


#1

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#2

Mushtoom?

Is that like when you feel like your body might be stretching in odd places after ingesting some weird fungus?


#3

All four in one jar? Why would you…

…waaaaaait a minute, you don’t really mean parsley, do you?


#4

Machine blown. Unique and rare … like nearly every bottle and jar made for the last century.


#5

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/media/embed/989051


#6

they mean Oregano


#7

Here in Washington State, you could even keep your legal marijuana in it. No need to beat around the bush, yo. (or the kush)


#8

Dammit, I accidentally bought the wrong jar. Now I’m ten feet tall and none of my clothes fit right anymore.


#9

For returns, ask for Alice.


#10

You mean “go ask Alice” :mushroom:


#11

I know. I heard they mass produce these by jumping just right on a turtle in level 3-1…


#12

Who the fuck is Alice?


#13

…ask the white rabbit?

Anyone else think of the movie The Game when that song comes on?


#14

#15

For the best in men’s clothing, ask for Janice!

Thyme! but it came with cherry flavored mushroom-shaped candy.


#16

718-498-Ten Forty-Three.


#17

yo, did you ever get through? I tried at intervals for like ten years, but all I ever got was the woman saying the mailbox was full.


#18

I admit it never occurred to me to try. So, now you have my admiration as well as my esteem.


#19

According to White Pages, there is an actual person living in Brooklyn, NY with that land line number. She has an eastern European-sounding first name, so she might be an immigrant with absolutely no idea why she’s getting all the phone calls.


#20

I don’t imagine they are in business anymore, so wouldn’t be surprised if someone different has the number now, as some hipster seemed to have turned the haberdashery into a bistro