Keith Richards tells his kids to snort his cremation ashes

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“I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can’t do any more drugs because you already fucking did them all, alright? There’s none left! We have to wait ‘til you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the fuckin’ kettle.”

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We can be shocked and criticise this all we like. But he’s Keith Richards, and we’re not. So he wins in any case.

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Keep an eye out for the cops kids - his ashes are probably on schedule 1.

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I’m confused. Is Keith Richards trying to imply that he’s actually still alive?

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I always thought it’d be reasonable to have my ashes ground up and mixed into a tea, for my loved ones and/or followers to imbibe.

I wouldn’t really expect anyone to do it, but I myself would take a hearty swig of the right person.

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Jerky all the way baby. I wanna go Teriyaki style.

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In high school I fantasized about being stuffed and mounted by a tasteful taxidermist. I’d spend my days gathering dust next to the newel post, supporting random hats and umbrellas.

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Kids tell Keith Richards ‘Shut up, dad’

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Reminds me of the joke about Marion Barry getting all the drugs off the streets of D.C. - and into his apartment where they belong.

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Liches gonna lich.

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Hate to break it to you, but … https://youtu.be/BpxO5LuYSbw

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This makes me laugh every time I see it.

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Piffle. Just because we haven’t solved it yet doesn’t mean it’s unsolvable!

To the laboratory, Igor!

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i could see a small amount of my ashes being distributed in a large cake, but really, i’m happy just being scattered to the winds, or being sprinkled around trees or flowers or something.

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All this talk of ashes is boring. I want to be made into a delicious stew.

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didn’t I see this on 6 feet under?

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Um… let’s just say that ashes, brought to the wake for a very dear, and very irreverent friend were not all… ah… disposed of by scattering. She would have loved that many of her friends and family partook of her remains.

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Snort only ashes?

Yeah, right.

This implies cocaine too.

Illegal.

Sort of.

I guess it depends on your monetary value, though, no?

Double-standards are profitable but unAmerican.

Choose your country: profit or America.

I choose America.

P.S. 'Tis Poet’s Day, and that’s one of mine.

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We probably need to introduce him to some Aghori sadhus…

(yeah, those are cremation ground ashes he’s smeared his body with)

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