Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping

Originally published at: Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping | Boing Boing

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Well, in a manner of speaking at least…

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I’m having a hard time thinking of jokes to make here.

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None about sucking the venom out?

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there is a pretty good percentage of the population not willing to joke about this, and i am sure a high percentage whose reaction was “we need more dick biting snakes”. both sides have merit.

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P: “Hey, bet you’d look bigger if you cut your hood back a bit.”
C: :snake:

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I’m thinking that if I were ever to visit South Africa I come back constipated

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Jerry Seinfeld GIF

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I’m sorry for the guy, but I have to say, if something fifty times my size squatted over me to poop, I might react violently too.

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I too might bit someone who disturbs me while I am pooping.

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Imagine this: You’re using a stall in your workplace restroom. You’re reading a newspaper. Eventually – business done – you put the newspaper away… only to discover a tarantula sitting in your dropped drawers. Life in the Santa Susana mountains. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer a-hole.

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Until today, I thought the biggest risk factor with outdoor pooping was to accidentally wipe with poison ivy. This fella just raised the bar to the moon.

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tumblr_mimm0ySIMd1rgghaio2_r1_500

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Headline ambiguity alert (HAA)!:

Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping

and/or serves the man right for disturbing a defecating cobra

(nods to @Nicholas_Marshall who beat me soundly to this notion)

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Drowning while defecating was actually a very big cause of death in medieval England, slip on the muddy bank of a river, finish in the water with heavy wool clothing an no idea how to swim.

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bit a man on the testicles

@thomdunn - you seem to be very error-prone today.

First Paddington ‘the’ Bear and then galaxies = star systems, and now penis = testicles.

Time to chill out, perhaps? :wink:

Ah in this case, the original paper does say:

And the pictures clearly show a skin graft on the penis shift. It was just Vice that limited it to only testicles.

But also, yeah, it’s been a week.

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I feel like the best possible joke in this scenario now must involve a centrist’s argument for finding the middle ground between all penises being mandatorily snakebit and never joking about snakebit penes.

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Penis SHIFT?

Yeah - sounds like you’ve been shafted this week, alright! :wink:

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Bite on scrotum, meh, don’t need it. Bite on penis, um, different story completely. As a male, I feel the need to point out the huge difference here and I’m confused how you get these mixed up.