Originally published at: Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping | Boing Boing
…
6 Likes
Well, in a manner of speaking at least…
15 Likes
I’m having a hard time thinking of jokes to make here.
5 Likes
None about sucking the venom out?
11 Likes
there is a pretty good percentage of the population not willing to joke about this, and i am sure a high percentage whose reaction was “we need more dick biting snakes”. both sides have merit.
11 Likes
P: “Hey, bet you’d look bigger if you cut your hood back a bit.”
C: 
2 Likes
I’m thinking that if I were ever to visit South Africa I come back constipated
7 Likes
12 Likes
I’m sorry for the guy, but I have to say, if something fifty times my size squatted over me to poop, I might react violently too.
7 Likes
I too might bit someone who disturbs me while I am pooping.
4 Likes
Imagine this: You’re using a stall in your workplace restroom. You’re reading a newspaper. Eventually – business done – you put the newspaper away… only to discover a tarantula sitting in your dropped drawers. Life in the Santa Susana mountains. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer a-hole.
1 Like
Until today, I thought the biggest risk factor with outdoor pooping was to accidentally wipe with poison ivy. This fella just raised the bar to the moon.
4 Likes
10 Likes
Headline ambiguity alert (HAA)!:
Man bit on the penis by a cobra while pooping
and/or serves the man right for disturbing a defecating cobra
(nods to @Nicholas_Marshall who beat me soundly to this notion)
4 Likes
Drowning while defecating was actually a very big cause of death in medieval England, slip on the muddy bank of a river, finish in the water with heavy wool clothing an no idea how to swim.
6 Likes
bit a man on the testicles
@thomdunn - you seem to be very error-prone today.
First Paddington ‘the’ Bear and then galaxies = star systems, and now penis = testicles.
Time to chill out, perhaps? 
Ah in this case, the original paper does say:
And the pictures clearly show a skin graft on the penis shift. It was just Vice that limited it to only testicles.
But also, yeah, it’s been a week.
11 Likes
I feel like the best possible joke in this scenario now must involve a centrist’s argument for finding the middle ground between all penises being mandatorily snakebit and never joking about snakebit penes.
3 Likes
Penis SHIFT?
Yeah - sounds like you’ve been shafted this week, alright!
1 Like
Bite on scrotum, meh, don’t need it. Bite on penis, um, different story completely. As a male, I feel the need to point out the huge difference here and I’m confused how you get these mixed up.
