I misread “In the meantime he was released on unconditional bail” as “… uncontrollable bail …”
So what other medical conditions are public outrages worthy of the DA’s office bringing charges: disgusting pimples, bad BO, traumatic arterial laceration?
The argument might be made that he should load his trousers for better control, but ya’ know, shit happens.
About a week ago a bird shit on me. Where’s my justice? That maniac is still out there and nobody is safe! I had to wash my shirt it was so bad.
True story. This world is a dangerous place.
SHITTED SPACEGHOST ANGRILY SHAKES FIST AT UNIVERSE.
A bird defecated local resident has woved revenge at Nature’s seemingly random injustices. Details at 6.
People think it’s funny, but it’s not, it’s hot and runny.
(sorry.)
“Explosive diarrhea” isn’t as popular as he way have thought, and BTW, when you got’a go, you got’a GO!
…hot on the heels of the Southport Poo Incident.
That’s why they call it street food.
I believe Amendment Number Two gives him the Constitutional right. 
“Man’s shit on child” seems like a causatum worthy of formal legal consideration.
The woman then takes handfuls of baby clothes to cover the nasty deposit, which she left for staff to find, before continuing with her shopping.
Police sketch of the perpetrator:
Agent 00005 indicates that the Southport Poo Incident is just a BUGGER distraction.
Of all the photographs that might have illustrated this, I am grateful for the tasteful green button. Thank you, Boing Boing.
It’s an English story, mind, so diarrhoea is misspelt.
Well then by all means, bring on the splashing buckets of chunder.
Still, remand without bail?
ETA: Apparently he was not remanded per TFA. He was released on unconditional bail, which makes more sense.
ETAA: I mean, he’s not a flight risk. Even if he does run…
(Sorry, I had to.)
It makes a good headline, but an accidental shit splatter probably involves less mens rea, danger, and negligence than the uncounted many uncharged motorists who might strike and actually injure a five year old child.
When I was in EMS I learned to avoid being shat and vomited upon with skill bordering on psychic.
What I am trying to say is that people shit at weird times nearly all without trying to hose down kids, what happened is disgusting, and most Americans and English like to punish what disgusts, but IMHO pretty random and as intentional as a sea gull strafing a baby carriage.
He is clearly, however, a SHITE risk.
I am actually digging this legal analysis. I’m giving serious consideration to a thorough delve into the legalities (UK, Federal, per-state) of accidentally shat on a child.
So something like a National Rectum Association(NRA) info-map on shit control laws?
