Man convicted of urinating on hotel carpet while shouting racist abuse, while masturbating with a fire-extinguisher hose up his ass

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The only thing that comes to mind is, impressive.

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I believe that’s a 619.

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Is Sheffield the Florida of England?

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Sounds like I was lucky last time I was out.

can you like this twice?

I’m disappointed. With this headline I expected to read about a Florida man. In any case, this sounds potentially like psychosis (maybe he was on drugs). The criminal justice system is probably not the best place to deal with this man’s issues.

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Mr Small later urinated on the lobby carpet while shouting “I’m from Sheffield!”

Well, that’s two hints that he hails from Sheffield.

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The only way this could have been more interesting is if someone had actually activated the fire extinguisher.

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He caused £450 damage, the court was told.

If that had happened in the 'States, the ‘damage’ would be in the thousands…y’know, 'cuz the cleaning staff are so well paid.

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An Aristocrat!

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They work in mysterious ways; ours is not to question why.

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Bath salts.
That is all.

Or as I call it, Tuesday.

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If I were religious, I’d wonder if this was God trying to teach me humility.

Me: “I can write passably amusing comments on teh internet.” *preen*

God: “LOLno. I can make something so funny your mortal mind can barely comprehend it! Look on my work, ye mighty, and despair!!”

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So this is what happens when the people on the internet escape into real life.

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And then it got weird…

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hope not.

Who among us hasn’t done the same?

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Never take drugs.