You got that right - we got a dumping here on Tuesday, 51 cm (a little over 20 inches). Most peculiar snowstorm I’ve ever seen - no wind, no whiteouts, schools stayed open. It just Never Stopped Snowing.
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If it wasn’t for Canada I wouldn’t have a totally awesome wife… 
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The International House of Pancakes would have only been the National House of Pancakes until just recently.
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If it wasn’t for Canada my totally awesome wife wouldn’t smack me every time somebody asks if she is from Canada because she has picked up my “Canadian” accent.
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The only way that we would get those is if Jesus was put on there (or perhaps Reagan). Reagan coin that has a glow-in-the-dark Jesus?
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There’d still be lots of Randroids, but they’d probably be listening to worse music. In my town it was Country…
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You got to admit that your “Canadian” accent comes in handy in international travels. Everybody knows Canadians don’t make good hostages. 
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It would have been embarrassing to have a second US invasion of Canada turned back by weaponized poutine.
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Just Country? No Western?
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Third.
The American revolutionaries created a “Continental Congress” expecting that the entire continent would rush to join, pausing only for adulation and the occasional rapturous fainting incident. When that failed they used their “Continental Army” to invade Canada in 1775. They were defeated. It didn’t work in 1812 either.
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Believe it or not…mostly no. And they understood the distinction.
And frankly, if it wasn’t for 
that wretched crime against music would probably have faded away by now.
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Ever since then, Canadia has implemented its glacial insidious invasion of the US…
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I’m invoking the Castle Doctrine on this one.
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If I capitulate, will you still use the poutine against me?
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Jefferson was so so so wrong… (also, holy presumptuous much!?)
“The acquisition of Canada this year, as far as the neighborhood of Quebec, will be a mere matter of marching; & will give us experience for the attack of Halifax the next, & the final expulsion of England from the American continent.”
— Thomas Jefferson to William Duane, 4 August 1812
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A third US invasion would likely have been successful, had Canada not deployed a small army of mimes to the border to give the illusion of an invisible, impenetrable wall.
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I think poutine was officially banned for use in combat under the Geneva Convention in 1946.
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Have you seen the AMC show “Turn: Washingtons spies”? - it made a villian of Simcoe!
Simcoe is hero round these parts and they turned him into a horndog sociopath!
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