Mark Zuckerberg eats toast


Originally published at:


It’s remarkable that someone could make billions off what amounts to a giant skeevy planetwide multi-year timeshare presentation, and still my overwhelming feeling every time I see that person is pity.


Has this been cleared with the Toast Marketing Board?


So human-like! Is it programmed yet to feel any other human emotions apart from greed?





That looks like some seriously dry toast. The dude could do with some of the milk of human kindness to wash it down. And, how dare he attempt to pose as Elwood Blues?


“… even as it smooths over the fact you’re watching Zuckerberg eat plain toast right out of the toaster…”

He pops the toast out (two pieces of toast are still in the toaster)… then a big jump showing him chomping on one piece of toast while holding a plate that has the other piece of toast on it. That’s a significant gap. Either the edited out portion included the buttering of the toast, or it included a monstrous fight between he and the producers on the plusses and minuses of he eating unbuttered toast.


Every time someone deletes their facebook account, Mark Zuckerberg eats a fart.


what’s the official position on its powdered form?



it’s webLOG webLOG, it’s text, it’s wordy, some’s FUD
it’s webLOG webLOG, it was better than Cats, i’ll see it again and again!


Application for approval still pending.



Did somebody say toast?

(hmm, wonder if Zuck is actually an earlier model than the Series 4000?)



Probably because he’s so amazingly clearly out of his depth. I mean, he’s obviously never deeply thought about what he’s doing, and what the repercussions might be; he just seems to be flailing, shocked at the negative outcomes. There’s also this huge gap between what he convinced himself he was making and what he actually ended up making - even in success, he’s such a failure. It’s hard not to feel sorry for him.


And yet, somehow, I still manage not to.



I mean, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the guy. It’s relative - I have some measure of sympathy for him compared to, say, Steve Bannon. Zuck just seems like an accidentally destructive doofus, not a calculating, malevolent monster. So I’m not, you know, actively hoping that Zuckerberg has needles stuck into his eyeballs, or is kept alive for an extended period of time while wild dogs eat his entrails, or anything*.

*Legal Disclaimer: not that I’m thinking about that at all, should Bannon’s partially devoured, canine-saliva-covered corpse ever be discovered.


Fair point.

I guess I’m just not a very nice person; because I don’t care how Gomer Pyle-clueless he may be, I have no kind of sympathy for him. I just have even less for the likes of Bannon.

I hope their first day in Hell lasts 10,000 years, and that it’s the shortest.